Bread Crumz

Introducing my new blog LoveandMath.com!

2011-05-11T17:41:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! I announced this a few months ago but I figured I better come back and remind you that I am now blogging over on Wordpress at my new blog, Love and Math. Come check it out and say hello!

If you're wondering what I've been writing about, here are a few of my latest posts (you know, over there on Love And Math, where I'm blogging now):

So if you're wondering where I've been, you can find me over there. At Love and Math. In case you're wondering :)

What I really want for Mothers Day (Sponsored Conversation test)

2011-04-27T13:37:00.000-06:00

This is my test post for Ebates Sponsored Conversation. I am totally into blazers this year and love pairing them with formal and casual shirts to dress them up or down. I'd love to have this Alexander Wang Tailored Blazer I found on Ebates site! P.S. I get 3% cash back on this maaahvalous item, too :)

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all my other favorites moms out there!

Whatever you’re buying this Mother’s Day, start at Ebates and get up to 20% cash back! To celebrate moms everywhere, Ebates is giving away a $1,000 shopping spree from any of their 1,200 retail partners!

How to Enter: Visit Ebates.com and find something you or your favorite mom would love. Reply below with a description of what you found and the percentage of cash back! A random winner will be announced Monday, May 10, 2011.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Ebates. The opinions and text are all mine.

Making the switch to Wordpress and new blog name

2011-03-06T13:07:00.008-07:00

I have been meaning to switch my blog over to a self-hosted Wordpress site for at least a year now. I started my blog on Blogspot back in 2007 when it was a casual pastime and I mainly wanted a place to express my thoughts about marketing, the tech space, and life in general. But I've gotten more serious about content management, SEO and design so I'm finally making the switch.

One of the reasons the switch got stalled was because the domain name Breadcrumz.com was taken and I didn't want some extended version of the name (like BreadcrumzBlog.com). Not sure why I was particularly picky about that but that was how I felt. So I took the opportunity to step back and actually give my blog a new name, too.

I graduated college with a degree in Mathematics but have always found the non-linear aspects of life (like love) to be just as interesting. So my new blog is meant to cover everything in between. I plan to write more about topics I have tended to keep to myself but that are very important to me. Like the books I read, travel, being an entrepreneur, flying (I've been flying single-engine prop planes for over 15 years but never written about it), and my pursuit of general self-awareness and purpose.
I will start officially blogging on the new site in the next few weeks. Take a sneak peek at Love and Math! I am still monkeying with the design so its likely to look a lot different by the time I make the final switch but you can see the first version. I have been incredibly lucky to be getting design and tech help from my long-time friend, designer, and blogger Jedd Rose. I've known Jedd for years and he is hands-down my favorite designer in the world. He helped me get my original blog set up and I've hired him professionally for at least three companies I've helped run.

If you've been following me here at BreadCrumz or just happened to stop by today, I hope you will join me over at my new blogging home, Love and Math. I'll be sure to leave a post up here so you'll know where to find me!

The Big Exhale

2011-02-20T08:49:00.016-07:00

This weekend, Dave and I hid out in a little cabin in Estes Park, a small mountain town about an hour away from Boulder. We didn't want a long drive but still wanted to feel like we had gone away. Too far away to worry about the laundry, chores, errands, and the dried-out Christmas tree still hidden in the back yard waiting to be taken to the wood chop place. On trips like these, I can measure my progress into emptiness with periodic and spontaneously audible sighs. Big exhales that sink me deeper into the realization that there simply isn't anything to do but breath.

As usual, it took about half a day to really settle into the bliss of nothingness. One of the first things I do in the morning is make a list. Every imaginable task required to achieve the 237 goals I set for myself that day. Lists are my friend. It was entertaining to witness myself struggling to make a mental list of "shoulds" on a trip where having no agenda was the goal. No list necessary? Exhale.

Even though the cabin had a full kitchen, I didn't want to cook at all. So before leaving, I stopped at Whole Foods and stocked up on all kinds of yummy prepared food. Grilled salmon, green beans almondine, candied yams, lobster chowder, fancy olives, three different kinds of cheeses, mangoes, pears and an insanely decadent chocolate cream pie. No cooking required? Exhale.

We hiked for three hours up Old Man Mountain randomly going off and on the trail as something of interest would catch our eye. It felt great to just stop and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees. No phone or Google reminders? Exhale.

I knew I had achieved escape velocity when I spent an hour watching the melting snow drip slowly from the roof into tiny puddles on the deck. Exhale.

For a weekend, no one needed me. No meetings, conference calls, or deadlines. No shuttling kids to hockey, baseball, band practice, or a friend's house. No parent-teacher conferences, permission slips, lunch money, or forgotten homework. I love the busy-ness that makes up my life. I created it and wouldn't have it any other way. But once in a while, it feels good to be still. To be quiet. To experience divine invisibility. Exhale.

Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders

2011-02-13T19:18:00.005-07:00

I've watched this TEDTalk video four times now and the same thing keeps happening. I watch it, silently acknowledging how lucky I am to live in a world where more work/life options are available to moms than ever before, then move on to the next task at hand. Something nags at me but I power through my to-do list: draft that marketing plan, review another candidate's resume, put the clothes in the dryer. But something in Sheryl Sandberg's presentation keeps haunting me and making me watch it again.

Why is it that out of 190 Head's of State in the world, only 9 are women? That out of all the people in parliament in the world, only 13% are women? Or of C-level positions (including Board seats) in the corporate world, only 15% are women and the numbers haven't changed since 2002 and are actually declining?

Sandberg (COO of Facebook) suggests that its because most women struggling with balancing careers and family end up giving one of them up. And what they tend to give up is their career. She presents her views with no judgment, pretense, or hint of elitism. I think her goal is simply to point out how the statistics are vastly different than for men.

What impacted me the most is something she said that I've notice myself over and over in the tech industry and throughout my career. We women systematically underestimate our capabilities, undervalue our achievements, and under-negotiate our worth. She also points out stats that show "likability and success" are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.

To me, Sandberg's message is one of awareness, not one meant to blame or incite. We need more women sitting at the table, fighting for their worth, and teaching their employees, co-workers, and daughters to be confident in their accomplishments. If you struggle with this, find someone you look up to and ask for support. If you're already there, make yourself available to others and maybe we'll start to see some change!

Trada’s Marketing Metrics BootCamp a huge hit with tech community

2011-02-10T12:15:00.014-07:00

Niel Roberston is the poster child for the phrase “go big or go home”. He is the founder and CEO of Trada, a company revolutionizing the advertising industry by crowd-sourcing paid search. I first met Niel over ten years ago at Service Metrics, an internet performance start-up that was acquired for $280M shortly after launching. He was one of the founders and I was lucky enough to help drive marketing efforts. He went on to start several other successful tech companies and is now the go-to guy for all things online advertising.

In the true spirit of community, Niel and his amazing team took time from their schedules to organize the Marketing Metrics Bootcamp, a 3-day local conference that brought together thought leaders in the advertising, performance, branding and social media spaces and let a crowd of budding (and current) entrepreneurs pick their brains. The event was sponsored by a host of local companies, Silicon Flatirons, and the CU Marketing Department. Over the course of three evenings, speakers and panelists covered topics such as:

Basics of CPA, funnels and customer lifetime value
Measurement tools, ROI, and performance tracking
Video strategies, going viral, and renegade digital marketing
Email marketing, trust, and the changing role of the social media specialist

I had the honor and pleasure of participating on the Brand vs Performance panel along with Derek Koenig (former CMO of Vail Resorts and former VP of Advertising at AOL), Toby Hedges (Director Digital Marketing for WhiteWave), and Matt Cutler (CMO for Visible Measures). That's me up front waving my arms trying to make a point. We got to discuss one of my favorite topics - how social media is radically changing how brands create, manage and leverage their online voice to serve their customers and grow their businesses.

I could talk about that topic for hours. Which I ended up doing because the conference wrapped up with an intern job fair where CU students had the opportunity to talk with dozens of local tech start-ups and learn about intern opportunities. I got to see lots of my fellow start-up junkies – Sonya Caprio and Grace Boyle from Lijit, Ted Guggenheim, CEO of Rage Digital, Mike Lewis, co-founder of Kapost, Brett Greene, founder of Hip Chameleon, Andy O’Dower from BeyondCredentials, and James Moreau with BlipSnips. It was fun watching them get mobbed by talented students hungry for a chance to work with cool tech companies.

By 9:30pm, I was exhausted and hoarse but I’m glad I stayed until the very end. The last person I talked to was Carson, who looked a little younger than most of the crowd but I just figured he started college early. He was the best conversation of the night. He asked thoughtful questions about our vision, business model, revenue plans, back-end evolution and the interest-based social graph. We talked about BlogFrog's mobile potential, viral growth and the possibilities of opening up our API. Something was different about this guy/kid. He might have thought he was looking for the next big thing, but I got the impression he would someday CREATE the next big thing. Then I learned that he was a student, but not at CU. He was a local high school student. Even more impressive. Then as we walked out, I got to meet his dad, who was his ride. Which means the boy genius who just blew me away probably can’t even drive yet. I won't mention his full name. Not because I probably need his parent’s permission first, but because I want to hire him before you do.

You can catch all the presentations and panels on Trada's Ustream channel, which were streamed lived during the event. Thanks Trada and sponsors for an awesome event (and cool t-shirt)!

The lost art of saying Thank You

2011-01-01T20:50:00.020-07:00

When we were kids, Mom would make the five of us sit down after Christmas (and birthdays or any occasion where we received a gift) and make us write thank you notes. She had cards, paper, envelopes, stamps, and even all the addresses. All we had to do was sit still, stop for a moment to remember someone's thoughtfulness, and say thanks.

From our perspective, you'd think we were being asked to milk the cows at dawn or scrub the toilets. We hated it then, but 20 years later, my appreciation for that tradition has grown (had the same experience with my Dad's classical music. It annoyed us as kids and now I have a wonderful affinity for Bach). I appreciate her efforts to teach us to be grateful for the kindness of others.

I woke up on New Year's Day thinking about how often people do something nice for us in a day (whether we know about it or not) and how many opportunities we have to say "thank you". Some scientists believe that human's can't simultaneously feel anger and gratefulness at the same time. So if our hearts and minds are thinking consciously about something we are thankful for, anger cannot co-exist in that moment. I find that fascinating.

So just for a day, I challenge you (and myself) to be on the lookout for all the things that friends, family and strangers do for you and make a point to express your thanks. If you sincerely thank someone and for a second they become grateful that you recognized their act of kindness, then they can't be feeling anger or offense either! That's a 100% return on your gratefulness investment :)

To my sweet friends, who let me vent about my frustrations:

To my boys, for reminding me to play:

To my mentors, who keep me motivated and inspired:

To the cashier at the supermarket, who let me run back to exchange an item even though there were are people behind me:

To the people at Midas, who tightened my oil filter for free last week:

To my partner (and favorite engineer), who makes me feel loved every day:

Who can you thank?

Twas The Night Before Funding (alternate title - If Santa Claus was a Venture Capitalist)

2010-12-15T09:19:00.004-07:00

Twas the night before funding and all through the suite,

The servers were humming keeping watchful their beat.
The business plans sat neatly stacked on the chair,
In the hopes that some VC with vision would care.

Employees were nestled at home in their beds,
While visions of click-thru-rates danced in their heads.
Engineering was busy still testing the app,
While Biz Dev ran numbers on stealth market cap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Pried with my eco-pass and up came the sash.

The moon on the breast of my laptop’s dull glow,
(showed our UI’s new pages were rendering slow).
When what to my eyes on the roof should appear,
But a Mercedes sleigh pulled by gold-plated deer.

The carriage was parked by valet in the snow,
And I knew in a moment, he was loaded with dough.
More rapid than eagles his money he waved,
And the iPad he’d bought with start-ups he’d saved.

He had a broad face and a well-pampered gut,
And the wrappers from chocolates still stuck to his butt.
He was stately and stern, a nice Cuban he smoked,
And he winked at the team and continued to toke.

Red carpet was laid and trumpets they sounded
The CEO brought out the team that he’d founded,
We’re happy to help you with diligence due
And expect you could raise us a million or two?

He said not a word but went straight to his work,
He snapped for some coffee and turned with a jerk.
I’ll need to see spreadsheets of costs to inspect,
And make sure the backgrounds of VP’s are checked.

He called up our users to ask what they thought,
Of the value they got from the service they bought.
He asked for proposals on market position,
And customer plans for sales acquisition.

He spent hours inspecting each line of source code,
He tested each server’s security mode.
He bought sample product to check feature placement,
And searched partner contracts for legal defacement.

His silence he broke for a moment to stop,
To ask if our web app might work for his shop.
I have thousands of products for good girls and boys,
And I need a good tool to help them choose from my toys.

I can see that your product is just what I need,
To help them decide with precision and speed.
So I’ll give you your millions, with a couple to spare,
Since nothing like you on the markets compare.

And laying a finger aside of his nose,
He nodded his head - up the heat vent he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, all his investors he dialed,
And said nothing more, just nodded and smiled.

As he flew, he yelled back, with a wise Ho Ho Ho
Why mess with the funding, just go IPO!

The secret to peace is the 3rd side: community

2010-12-07T07:51:00.008-07:00

I have been reading a lot about negotiation lately. For whatever reason, the notion and science of conflict resolution keeps landing in my path demanding to be attended to. I try to pay attention to signs like that and take them as gifts from the universe that there is something for me to learn.

It started with How To Win Any Negotiation by Robert Mayer. A book that caught my attention while I was waiting at Kinkos a few weeks ago. I started reading it right in the store and bought it so I didn't have to stop.

Then, by chance this morning, I came across this TEDTALK by William Ury called The Walk From "No" to "Yes". Ury is the founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation and is the author of Getting To Yes. He has spent three decades studying the science of negotiation and has helped resolve crisis ranging from corporate mergers to ethnic wars in the Middle East, the Balkans, and the former Soviet Union.

The video is 18 minutes and worth every minute but the part I found fascinating was his notion that there are actually three sides to every conflict, not two. Each opposing position represents one side of a conflict but he proposes that there is a third, very powerful side, which is community. How a community holds, supports, fuels, or ignores a conflict dramatically affects its outcome. Ury specifically talks about community and its affects on peace in the middle east but theory relates to any conflict.

The notion that the presence of a conscious observer affects what is being observed is nothing new in the world of quantum physics and I see these two efforts as being beautifully connected. Its inspiring and empowering to know that we as a community (for our families, our businesses, our country or the planet) can play a very powerful role in the transformation of conflict.

Beer and Blogging come together at the Boulder Beer Blogging Conference

2010-11-06T07:43:00.013-06:00

When you're in the business of online community, you learn quickly there is a niche community for everything. Like beer? There's a community for that. Like to blog? There are lots of communities for you. What if you blog about beer? Not only are there groups for you, there is a dedicated conference.

Yesterday kicked off Day 1 of the Boulder Beer Blogging Conference where beer enthusiasts gathered to celebrate their critical role in the blogging ecosystem.

I was honored to be invited to speak as part of Day 2's track on technology (Saturday 9:30-11:30am). Come on out to the Boulder Marriott this morning to hear more about BlogFrog's community-enabling platform and hear from my fellow presenters, who are also up to some pretty cool stuff:

Perry Quinn from Lijit (www.lijit.com) will talk about adding a search engine to your blog, using it to know more about your readers, and monetizing the result.
Pete Sheinbaum from The Mandelbrot Project: Creator of Daily Candy and founder of the soon-to-be revealed The Mandelbrot Project, will speak on creating and growing your community on the web.
Jason Cormier from Room 214 (http://room214.com): Room 214 is a social media agency that uses social networking, online word of mouth and integrated search marketing to help companies get noticed, retain customers and continue growing.

These are some of Boulder's smartest entrepreneurs and you don't want to miss them. I haven't decided if beer bloggers are a tough audience or not so I decided to loosen them up with this video I created at xtranormal.com.

A small tallish one

2010-10-24T19:50:00.005-06:00

Every year, about a week before Halloween, we get together with friends and take our kids pumpkin hunting. We spend the morning at a near-by farm with literally 100 acres of pumpkins. I started this tradition eight years ago when my son was 7 and I was a single mom. I was committed to creating some fun seasonal traditions for him so I enrolled my friends and the Annual Pumpkin Hunting Day was created. Lots of things have changed since then.

Today marks our 8th year honoring this tradition. We meet at the pumpkin patch, spend a few hours picking the most perfect (or imperfect) pumpkin and head back to my house for potluck lunch. We takes lots of pics and video - here's a video from last year's adventure:

Pumpkin Hunting 2009 from Holly Hamann on Vimeo.

10 Reasons I Won't Buy a Kindle

2010-10-04T09:02:00.011-06:00

I've had several conversations with friends lately about how much they love their Kindles. They download their books instantly, can carry many books around at a time, and have all kinds of convenient options (like increasing the font size for easy reading). These friends are early-adopters, leaders in their industries, and I have huge respect for the innovations they deem worthy of their time and money. There might be a hundred reasons to get a Kindle. But I have ten reasons why I like my paper books better (in no particular order):

A good bit of my reading (especially in the winter) is done in the bathtub. No further explanation needed.
My reading ritual includes leaving the bookmark in the spot it was when I picked up the book and then moving it when I'm done. That small chunk of pages in-between marks my progress. Sounds silly, but I love that feedback.
I like bookshelves. I have bookshelves in my home office, the living room, and my bedroom. I refer to books I've read all the time to pull quotes, refer to reference materials, and find authors. I also like that my kids are surrounded by books and just might see one that looks intriguing and pick it up.
I leave my book on the seat of the bike/elliptical/treadmill at the gym to save my spot when I go to the bathroom. I would never leave a Kindle.
I have enough devices that require electricity.
I loan a lot of books to friends. What if they don't have a Kindle?
I lose stuff. I don't mind if I lose a $10.00 book but I'd be super mad at myself for accidentally misplacing a $150 Kindle.
I like color.
I can kill a spider crawling up the wall with a paperback and never leave a mark.
There is a visceral feel about books that no electronic device can match.

I like books. I like the earthy way they feel in my hands. In real life, no two books look the same and piles of them together remind me of candy. That being said, I am often wrong and sometimes easily persuaded so stay tuned for a future post called "10 Reasons I Bought A Kindle".

Work, Relationships or Health: Choose Two.

2010-09-19T15:50:00.007-06:00

Many companies develop their software based on what is called “agile development”. One agile process called “Scrum” involves advancing your product in small increments rather than making progress in larger chunks over a longer period of time. The idea is that by releasing smaller iterations more frequently, you keep a tighter rein on rapidly-changing requirements and you can make corrections quicker with less impact.

In his book Succeeding with Agile, Mike Cohn refers to The Iron Triangle, a diagram that illustrates the relationship between three key elements of software development - Scope, Schedule and Resources. It looks like this:

Each project has a scope (the number of features), a schedule (deadline) and requires a finite amount of resources (people and tools). For example, a project might include five key features, require three developers, and has a deadline of four months. Often, a project manager will make a customer choose two. “You can have all your features in four months but I need more resources”. Or “I have three developers and they can only get four features done in four months”. Whatever the solution, the one thing you can’t sacrifice is the element in the middle, Quality.

I used to work with a VP of Engineering who was fond of saying “I can fly you to Tokyo or I can fly you around for an hour, but I can’t fly you to Tokyo in an hour – choose”.

So what does all this have to do with work, relationships and health? This theory got me thinking about the Iron Triangle of Life. Is there a similar relationship with key elements in our lives? What if the Iron Triangle of Life looked like this:

Most of us are in a constant struggle to balance work, relationships and health while trying not to sacrifice happiness. Can we really do all three? Jim Collins, author of the book Good To Great, says “If you have more than three priorities then you don’t have any.” Perhaps we are only capable of satisfying two at a time.

I think that is probably true but I believe things like work, relationships and health do not have black & white thresholds. With a schedule, if something is due on Friday at 5pm, either you made it or you didn’t. There’s no gray area. Its achievement is absolute. Same with # of features and amount of resources, either you made it or you didn’t. But with work, relationships and health, they are not absolutes. They all exist in varying states of achievement.

Say you're going to school at night to earn a degree while working full time and trying to take care of your family. You might be sacrificing time with your family in the short-term order to create a better future for everyone later. You've sacrificed relationships in favor of advancing work so you can have better relationships later.

What about women/men who give up work completely to stay home with their kids? They've sacrificed work and income in favor of relationships and family. What if your work and family leave little time to care for your health and you get sick?

In the end, I think we intuitively just handle what needs to be handled and plan the best we can. We do our best to catch the ball that's falling, throw it back up in the air, and make sure we’re there to catch the next one.

So how do you balance work, relationships, and health? What are your priorities and how do you determine which ones outrank the others?

Following and organizing blogs on your iphone

2010-09-16T14:00:00.001-06:00

At the office, we try to surround ourselves with technology and systems that support the ability to increase the scalability of an operation, whatever it might be. Just because a company of 10 people can support 50,000 customers doesn’t mean you should need 100 employees to serve 500,000 customers. You want to be able to serve exponentially more customers (or process more data, or handle more subscriptions, etc) without an exponential increase in resources.

I try to do that personally as well and there is always so much to learn about how to do things more efficiently. Take blog subscriptions for instance. I follow dozens of blogs to keep up to date on what is happening with blogging, technology, entrepreneurship, health, and personal interests like cooking or American Idol. I use Google Reader to manage my subscriptions online but I am finding that even that is getting to be too much. I caught myself wanting to subscribe to a blog the other day but didn’t because I didn’t want to add one more blog to my reader. That’s when I realized I needed a new process, not less information.

One of things I haven’t been doing until now is reading my blogs on my iPhone. Just never got around to setting up a system. Rather than miss out on keeping up with another great blog, I decided to do a bit of research and find a useful iPhone app to help me. After checking out a few options, I went with Reeder, a $2.99 app made Silvio Rizzi. There are lots of free reader apps out there that I’m sure are just fine but I actually don’t mind paying a few bucks for an app that has additional features that I really care about (like social media sharing or enabling offline reading). If it turns out to be a dud, then I’ll share my thoughts and maybe help a couple people save a few bucks. But so far, it’s been pretty cool.

Reeder pulls all my subscriptions and folders from Google Reader, lets me download and cache so I can read offline, and has a ton of sharing options (you can share just a link or the whole post). This is a screen grab from my phone. Reeder pulls my folders - Blogging, Entrepreneurship, Personal and Technology (thanks to TechCrunch, I have a bazillion updates to read). Its easy to read, well-organized, pretty lightweight and does everything it claims to do. I could not find any user documentation but it was easy to figure out once I played around with it

The icon options at the bottom let you mark as read, star a favorite, tab through multiple posts, and share. The image below is what a post looks like - this particular post is from Danielle LaPorte's blog, White Hot Truth.

As you can see below, there are a ton of sharing options including Twitter, email, Delicious, Instapaper, etc.

The only disappointment was its integration with Delicious. I have been using Delicious for years and would love to be able to tag and bookmark blogs from Reeder but it only integrates if your Delicious email address is NOT a Yahoo address, which mine is. So that was a bummer.

What do you use to follow your favorite blogs on your mobile device? If you use a tool you'd recommend, tell us about it here. I'm always open to suggestions and ways to be more efficient.

Turn Off The Computer And Go Outside And Play

2010-09-05T22:53:00.028-06:00

How many times have we nagged our kids to get out from behind the electronics and go play outside? It was a gorgeous weekend in Colorado and I caught myself in the throes of a mile-long to-do list that would have kept me busy (and on the computer) through Thanksgiving. When it finally dawned on me what a beautiful day I was missing, I abandoned the list, called a friend, and made plans to head up to the mountains. We headed west to Rocky Mountain National Park, a quick 45 minute drive away.

Within an hour, we were hiking on trails with incredible views,

.....walking through shady pine trails,

.....listening to the therapeutic babble from streams,

.....and waterfalls,

Estes Park Stream from Holly Hamann on Vimeo.

.....sticking our feet in icy pools,

.....appreciating (or mocking) historic relics,

.....sneaking up on wildlife,

.....getting in for a closer look,

..... and eating ice cream from a malt shop with bar stools like these:

Before you get too impressed with my Grizzly Adams impression, just know I did bring my iphone and tweeted the whole time :)

How the high school marching band saved me

2010-09-03T07:32:00.009-06:00

Two of my teenagers started high school this year and one of them plays clarinet in the marching band and one plays trumpet in the jazz band. We attended the season's first football game last night and it was thrilling. Not just because we won (34-8) but because of the halftime show. I had more fun watching that 4 minute performance than I have any Broadway show or Oscar-winning movie.

When it comes to high school, most adults I know carry very polarizing memories. Either they loved it or hated it. For me, high school felt like this huge stage on which I worked out my most intimate, awkward, and confusing issues, most of which centered around fitting in. My struggle might not have been apparent to those around me, but there was definitely an apocalypse happening on the inside.

One of the things I am most grateful for during that time was my experience in the marching band. I started playing trumpet in the 5th grade and wanted to quit by 7th. My mom talked me out of it and I will be indebted to her forever for that pep talk because it saved me. For four years, I was an integral part of a 160-member club - the band geeks. We stood proud in our glorious nerdness because we knew we had back-up. I might spend 6 classes a day orbiting the perimeter of the cool crowd, but when I walked into that band room, I was home. I belonged. I was friends with every trombone player, drummer, and french horn player. We got each other. Other kids might have perfect skin, good grades, and had their own cars, but we knew in our hearts that we could belt out Georgia On My Mind with such precision and synchronicity, it could bring tears to your eyes.

We marched in parades, football games, and did concert performances during the winter. We spend hours in a bus motorcade listening to The Beach Boys and Van Halen from cassette tapes played on boom boxes that sat on the back of the bus seat. We girls learned how to change into our band uniforms on a moving bus without ever exposing an inch of flesh (its all about layering). I could pick out my own two basic black shoes from 300+ other basic black shoes and somehow managed to keep a pair of white gloves white for four years. But most of all, I got to work through my misfit stage in the safe company of 160 other misfits and managed to love every minute of it. I left school with confidence, discipline, a sense of teamwork, a love for music, and a sense that being different and nerdy was one of my gifts. I hope my boys end up feeling the same when they leave.

P.S. The trumpet in the picture of me? That's the silver Bach Stradivarius my parents got me for Christmas the year I made first chair.

Kitty Kelly's biography on Oprah Winfrey: 500 pages of cleverly packaged contempt

2010-08-29T12:01:00.009-06:00

I just finished Kitty Kelly’s biography on Oprah Winfrey and was greatly disappointed. What I hoped would be a thoughtful, objective assessment of one of history’s iconic female figures turned out to be a 500 page subliminal rant. Kelly clearly has credentials and awards for her writing and has spent years doing meticulous research on historical figures like Frank Sinatra, the Kennedys, Nancy Reagan, Elizabeth Taylor and the British royals. Her list of referenced articles in Oprah’s biography is impressive. Thirty pages of annotated footnotes listing facts, published articles and every word uttered by Oprah, recorded or gossip. But here’s the rub. The entire biography is steeped in an undertone of contempt by the author. So much so that it discredits her claim that the examination is "unvarnished".

Kelly gives sterile coverage to Oprah’s charitable work and good intentions and has a knack for dismissing it all at the end with a sentence or two that implies she was capable of doing more. Yet stories that hinted at any bad judgment or scandal were covered with such relentless persecution and exhaustive detail on every nuance of the crime, I thought I was reading about a wanted terrorist, not a daytime talk show host. Kelly tries to come across as objective, but her book reeks of disdain and it gets old. It’s as though she doesn’t trust that an intelligent reader can digest facts and come to their own conclusion. Instead, she spends so much energy trying to persuade me to hate Oprah that she creates the opposite effect. I started to like the diva more just to root for the underdog.

Another odd side note about the book is that Kelly repeats entire passages word-for-word and the writing style is so different in some chapters, I started to wonder if she even wrote the whole book herself.

Kelly is certainly entitled to her opinions about Oprah or any of her subjects, but she shouldn’t pretend this is an objective biography written without bias. Kelly claims her mission is to separate fact from fiction, myth from truth, but all she ended up doing was making me wonder what personal beef she has with Oprah. When your persecution of someone becomes more charged than the crimes you accuse them of, your motive becomes suspicious. As Shakespeare said “The lady dost protest too much, methinks”.

Blogher10: Since when did swag become so offensive?

2010-08-10T08:13:00.004-06:00

I never quite understood why some take such offense to the idea that a conference sponsor would like to leave you a little thank-you gift for being willing to let them share their message with you. If you don’t want swag, don’t take any. Period. How the whole concept of swag at BlogHer (or any conference for that matter) got so complicated and controversial, I’ll never know. Maybe I missed something. Without sponsors, BlogHer would be twice as expensive to attend and would be so cost-prohibitive, most of us would not be able to go. I am grateful to the brands that recognize women bloggers as a powerful target audience and are willing to invest marketing dollars to spend time with us and learn what makes us tick so they can serve us better. And I’m grateful to BlogHer for seeking out those partners so we can enjoy a discounted room rate, wonderful food, and a venue that sits a few blocks away from Central Park in downtown New York City. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but I’m still missing the offensive part.

Some folks left with scores of cool gifts and useful samples of products from generous sponsors. Good for them! I left with very little but only because I didn’t make it to some parties and had already over-packed so I opted out. I love the sandwich holder from Hillshire Farms and the tiny portable speakers from AOL and I toted my PUR water bottle around the entire time I was there (I bet I’m not the only one who grabbed an extra one). The BlogHer conference guide lists 100 sponsors including the likes of Pillsbury, Hallmark, P&G, Pepsico, Healthy Choice, Yahoo!, PayPal, Nikon, Sears, Comcast, Johnson & Johnson and many more. These are serious brands that spend millions researching their target demographic and spending millions more trying to reach them. Aren’t you glad those brands invested their money in BlogHer instead of a SuperBowl commercial? Help me out here because I still don’t get the offensive part.

Just so I don’t occur as one-sided, I’ll try to look at it from another perspective. Some say all the swag is wasteful and feeds the “free” frenzy. I’ve spent my career doing marketing for both large and small companies and have worked my share of trade shows. Product samples and promotional items are inventoried and arrive with their sponsors neatly packed and accounted for. Swag is only wasted when it is accepted and then gets left in the hotel room or thrown away when we get home. If that is the case, aren’t WE the ones actually responsible for the waste? As for the free part, I feel silly even addressing that one. Would you rather they charge for the swag?

Maybe it’s intrusive. Like when you get strip club flyers shoved in your hand outside the bar or get doused with some edgy scent called Mood or Jezebel by a leggy sales rep in the cosmetic isle. Seriously. Have you ever been treated with anything less than respect and genuine enthusiasm from a brand at BlogHer? These brands don’t ask for anything from us other than to be in our presence and if you stop and talk to them, you’ll learn they are doing some incredibly innovative things. They even have an entire expo hall reserved for sponsors that you have to intentionally walk into in order to interact with them. Still not finding the offensive part.

Maybe it’s political. Maybe it’s because the swag is plastic and not made of recycled paper, or the brand doesn’t give enough funding to early education programs in Uganda or they use red dye #2 on their label. Maybe they don’t employ enough senior citizens, or the logo looks too ethnic or the CEO made a bazillion dollars last year and has a yacht floating off the coast of some country with a US trade embargo. I am not making light of the political impact brands have on global affairs. I am making light of our offense to their free toothbrush.

Just because you don’t want to accept swag doesn’t mean the act of offering it should be criticized. Swag is a gift, not a patronizing assault on your intelligence as a target demographic. If you take it as such, I invite you to consider that you are over-thinking the whole concept. At the end of the day, swag is fun. They are presents and toys from people we don’t know and some of it just shows up in our rooms when we’re not there. Isn’t that what Santa Claus has been doing for centuries?

And the word of the day is BLOGGER

2010-07-30T13:11:00.007-06:00

My 6 year old niece lives outside San Francisco with her dad (my brother) and mom. I don't get to see them very often because they live so far away but I love getting updates over the phone and video chats. Charlotte is outgoing, stubborn, a thinker, loves being creative, and has a rich social life filled with the animated characters that live in her room. Stuffed mice, plastic dogs (one of them is called Mr. President), pigs that oink, and of course, a frog. Each day, Charlotte picks a word-of-the-day and writes it on her chalkboard easel. My brother texted me this photo of the word she chose today. I am so proud!!!

This was actually her second try. Below was the first text pic I received. I had asked my brother if I could put the picture on my blog and I guess Charlotte decided to fix the spelling mistake and get out of her jammies :)

How sweet is that? I think I like the second picture better :) Thanks for making my day, Charlotte!

Why work on your blog alone when you can do it with 300 other women?

2010-07-19T06:00:00.002-06:00

Starting today, and for the next 31 days, I will be joining over 300 other fantastic blogging women as we take on ProBlogger's 31 Days To Build A Better Blog challenge, sponsored by the fabulous SITS Girls and powered by BlogFrog. If you are just hearing about this challenge and want to know more, visit the SITS Girls community discussion here.

Darren Rowse, aka ProBlogger, was blogging (and making lots of money doing it) long before most of us even knew what blogging was. Not only did he turn his blog and its valuable content into a successful income empire, he has been teaching others how to do the same thing for years. I've been a fan of Darren's for a long time and am thrilled to have the opportunity to partner with him and the SITS Girls to sponsor this campaign.

Today marks Day 1 of the challenge and the exercise is to write an elevator pitch for your blog. I have been blogging since 2007 and like many of you, my topics run the gamut. I blog about business, being in tech start-ups, being a woman in tech start-ups, funny/interesting/stupid things that happen in the social media space, and my teenage kids. Now that my kids have an opinion about being the topic of blog posts, I seem to write about them less and less. Which is ironic because observing teenagers in their natural habitat and watching them evolve could keep me fed with topics for years.

This blog is my outlet, my personally-branded channel to inspire, educate, vent, ponder, provoke thought, and maybe make a few other women out there feel slightly less crazy and a bit more empowered. I do that by sharing what I have learned from 1) being in the tech space for 20 years 2) successes and failures along the way, 3) being a single parent for many of those years, and lastly, realizing just how powerful a force we are in the evolution of our own (and others) success. Success/health/peace/insert-desired-life-goal-here is there for the taking. Seriously. My desire is to help others realize this by sharing my own experiences and connecting those who are on the same journey who would love a little company along the way.

What's YOUR elevator pitch? If you are part of the 31DBBB Challenge, or even if you aren't, come share your thoughts and read how the challenge is going for hundreds of other women in the SITS Girls Community!

Where are the parents?!

2010-06-17T11:05:00.000-06:00

As I get to know more parents and watch my sons' friends grow into teens, I find myself gravitating towards some parents as friends and pulling away from others I have been close with for years. I must admit it is mainly over parenting styles. At first I was saddened by it, even confused, but the more situations I find myself in, the more clearly my own values are defined. While I try not to judge, its hard not to find it easier and more authentic to align with adults who have similar parenting styles. One example has been the topic of lots of recent conversations with my friends - the issue with parents not being present.

Last summer, my son was invited to a birthday party for one of his new friends about two blocks away. Since I had not yet met the parents, I offered to walk him there so I could meet Mom or Dad and then I'd walk back home. When we got there, there were at least a dozen teenagers running around. They weren't tearing the house apart, but it was chaotic. I asked for a parent and the birthday boy said his parents were not home but would be back in about 45 minutes. We have a rule with our kids that they are not allowed to be at a friend's house unless there is a parent home. And they are not allowed to have friends over here when we are not home.

I didn't want to embarrass my son by making him leave so I decided to go home and come back in about an hour. I walk back in an hour - still no parent in sight. So I asked for the mom's cell phone and called her. I was as sincere and polite as I could be. I let her know about our rule and asked when she'd be home. In about about 45 minutes. I already didn't like what was going on but I'd already waited an hour so I figured what was 45 minutes more. And I still didn't want to be the only parent to make their kid leave.

An hour later and one airsoft gun wound later (my son was shot right above his eye at close range and still has a scar), I'd had enough and made my son come home. Where were the parents?! Who leaves a houseful of teenagers all alone for hours with no supervision? I am not a prude by any means but I was mad and puzzled. The biggest issue with teens (even in our neighborhood) at this age is their experimentation with alcohol, drugs, and the law. Kids are stealing alcohol from their parents, sneaking out at night and hanging out at a local park in the middle of the night, experimenting with pot, and seeing what they can get away with. Pushing boundaries is what they do at this age and we all did it, too. But I am stunned at the stories I hear from both kids and parents where crowds of kids are hanging out at someone's house with no parent around.

I feel strongly this is the time to keep a close eye on my kids. Not for the purpose of hovering over them like police and censoring their every move, but to stay aware so I can guide them. Adolescence is a challenging time where kids are figuring how who they are and at a crossroads with just about every aspect of their lives. They are figuring out what their values are and how they feel about their bodies, their minds, and sorting out their feelings. While I want to give my kids opportunities to become more independent, now is not the time to let their friends and other parents be the biggest influence. I want to know who their friends are, what music they have on their iPods, who their friend's parents are, what movies they are watching, and what games they are playing on the computer.

I used to struggle with thinking I was being controlling by wanting so much insight into their lives. But after watching kids I know choose challenging paths (all have a common thread of little parent control), I am even more convinced that staying involved and present is critical. My kids are not out of the woods yet (we have high school to tackle next) and I have no intention of backing down now.

What are your thoughts? How do you give your kids opportunities to grow their independence and learn responsibility while staying involved? Join the discussion in my community here.

Five Ways to Become Happier

2010-06-15T09:00:00.008-06:00

Whenever I am looking for inspiration, motivation, or want to expand my perspective to think bigger about a certain situation, there are a few sites I can count on to deliver. Whether I have only have five minutes or twenty, I can always find something enlightening at either BigThink or TED. These two sites share video presentations and talks (for free) by some of the world's most educated, accomplished and inspiring personalities. Scientists, authors, politicians, and researchers. Doctors, teachers, explorers and philanthropists. If you want a mental shift from your every-day thought routine, just poke around and see what catches your eye.

I had just gotten home after watching one of my son's baseball games and was thinking how enjoyable it was to just sit and watch. What a change of pace for me to just sit and observe, relax, be a proud mama, and just soak it all in during a cool June evening. It made me happy. So I got to thinking about happiness and wondered if BigThink had anything on happiness. Of course they did.

I found a presentation from Tal Ben-ShaHar (Psychology Lecturer at Harvard University) on Five Ways to Become Happier. I've written about My Own Happiness Project before and the five simple (proven) suggestions Tal Ben Shahar offers were profound and yet so simple.

Below are a few of my favorites (these are from his talk):

The number one predictor of well-being of happiness is time, quality time, we spend with our family, friends, people we care about and who care about us.

Physical exercise contributes a great deal to happiness; in fact, there is research showing that regular exercise, three times a week of 30 to 40 minutes, is equivalent to some of our most powerful psychiatric drugs in dealing with depression or sadness or anxiety.

...people who keep a gratitude journal, who each night before going to sleep write at least five things for which they are grateful, big things or little things, are happier, more optimistic, more successful, more likely to achieve their goals, physically healthier; it actually strengthens our immune system, and are more generous and benevolent toward others.

In a world where we have a hundred people and things pulling on our time and attention at any given moment, it is so easy to spend our days in a constant state of personal "project management". Fretting about the past, juggling the present, and mitigating risks in the future. How ironic that one path to happiness is to simplify, get some exercise, be grateful, and spend time with those we love.

I'm going to add my own suggestion to the list. Happiness is going to bed early :)

Supersize Me: a trip to Costco

2010-06-14T17:25:00.000-06:00

I must admit, I have a fascination with Costco. I grew up in a rural area in Maryland and the nearest grocery story was about 30 minutes away. We had a little general store a few miles away where you could get bread and fishing bait but we only stopped there if we really had to. It was such a small town, my mom could pick something up and pay for it another day. So to wander through a Costco and see the ginormous, economy sizes that products come in is super entertaining.

We make a run to Costco every few months and I decided to take pics of the more amusing items on our last trip.

Who doesn't love an entire an isle of desserts as long as a football field?

My favorite section - CHEESE (p.s. I follow @tillamook on Twitter)!

That's a lot of BBQs

I don't get why apples need their own individual nook. That's a bit overboard.

Can you see the size, 72 oz? That's 4.5 pounds of chocolate chips!

You can't see the weight but this box makes 6 batches of brownies. Yes, we bought one :)

I'm holding 220 servings of oatmeal here.

70 bags of sunflowers seeds. That's a lotta ballgames.

25 pounds of pinto beans.

Even the books are large! That is not a trick shot, that book is about 2.5 feet tall.

Each case has 12 bottles so that's 60 hours of energy!

Um, 190 servings of fiber? I can't even begin to figure out how many apples that is. If you ate all that, you will need a lot of this:

And of course, everything about Costco is super-sized, including the total:

p.s. we didn't buy everything shown in the pictures, I just thought they were funny. It would take me years to eat 25 lbs of pinto beans and 220 servings of oatmeal. Unless you mixed it with the 4.5 pounds of chocolate chips and made cookies. Then maybe.

The Earth. Its what's for dinner.

2010-06-12T21:38:00.007-06:00

I was sorting through some old photos on my computer and came across this picture my son created several years ago when we first got a Mac. I think he was about 10 years old.

He was playing with the backgrounds in iPhoto and creating all these really cool images. It reminded me how alive our imaginations are when we are kids. Nothing is impossible and everything is an experiment waiting to happen. How long can you microwave a marshmallow Peep before it explodes? What happens if you freeze Hot Wheels cars in a block of ice? If you drive faster than the speed of light, will people be able to see you? I love the questions kids ask when their worlds are ruled more by curiosity than logic. It makes me want to drop whatever I'm doing (usually some item from a long list of chores) and play in their world.

Its way more fun to come from a place where the answers have not all been figured out and you can make it up as you go along. Imagination is where all possibility lives. Everything you see created by people started off as a thought in somebody's head. One of my favorite quotes is from Albert Einstein, who said "Imagination is more important than knowledge". So with a little help from iPhoto, I offer a kiss of gratitude to my favorite mad scientist for reminding us to spend a little more time in our imaginations.

In the company of addicts: Serial Start-up Entrepreneurs

2010-06-11T09:00:00.000-06:00

Last week, I was honored to sit on a panel for Colorado University's Studio Series at Boulder Digital Works. BDW brings together digital professionals and tech leaders to share what they know about business and entrepreneurship. The Studio Series meets the first three Wednesdays of every month during the summer.

The topic last week was Serial Startup Entrepreneurs and I was in good company with fellow panelists Tara Anderson, COO Quick Left, and Tim Wolters, founder and CEO of RoundPegg. We spent an hour talking about what attracts us to starts-ups, why we keep at it even when things look dismal, and what keeps us going back for more. We shared stories of our biggest blunders, what we learned, and what characteristics serial entrepreneurs seem to share. Here are a few of the characteristics we all agreed were important:

One thing serial start-up entrepreneurs seem to share is a passion for creating something from nothing. There is simply nothing like having a good idea one day and doing something about it the next. Just you, your partners, and the few crazy people you managed to talk into taking the plunge with you. No one says "its not my job" or puts off till tomorrow what they can jump on today. Everyone is in charge and all ideas get considered.
You have to be willing to be wrong. You won't survive in a start-up if you have an attachment to being the smartest person in the room or are afraid to be wrong. You will be wrong more often than you will be right. Accept it, embrace it, and let it work for you.
Have a mentor (or several). No matter how much experience you have, there are people who are better at certain things than you are. Seek them out, make friends and don't be shy about asking for advice. Ask if they'll meet with you on a regular basis and learn what you can from them.
Know what feeds your passion. Being passionate about an idea is a big part of what will make you better at it than someone else. When you are passionate about something, you have more curiosity, more drive, and more fun. When its stops feeding your passion, its time to move on. I've heard so many stories about entrepreneurs who felt compelled to leave full-time positions to start companies because their minds were consumed with thoughts of a new venture.
Serial start-up entrepreneurs seem to better tolerate risk. Many of us have mortgages to pay and families to feed and we are not independently wealthy (yet!). We know that only a few start-ups make it, that competition is fierce and funding is scarce. But we do it anyway because the game is just too good not to play. We don't mind driving junky cars and bringing our lunch to work because we are hedging our bets on a bigger game.
Most of us get bored easily. Its not ADD, its just that we have high standards for how interesting life can be. When I moved from New Jersey to DC back in the early 90s, I knew no-one. I thought about what activity I could get involved with that would have me meet interesting people. So I decided to learn to fly. I met several of my closest friends and had some of the biggest adventures of my life. It also helped keep the rest of my life interesting.

Its hard to capture everything we talked about in that hour but we covered many aspects of start-ups including funding, hiring, role models, start-up vs corporate culture, and lots of other topics. You can read more of my posts on start-ups like 13 ways running a start-up is like having a baby, what happened to my career?, and what I love about start-ups.

Here's me tweeting pics during the panel:

The audience included CU students and those from the local community. Sean Baxter did a fabulous job of moderating and huge thanks to Jo White for organizing it all as BDW's 60-week Program Director.

You can find out more about Boulder Digital Work's Studio Series on their Facebook page.

Just a little to the left

2010-06-10T15:52:00.002-06:00

This is me being silly on our trip to Moab this past weekend. It was 106 degrees and I got banged up on a 7-hour mountain biking trail that was supposed to only take 3 hours. We ran out of food, water, and lost one of our kids for about an hour. A broken wrist, one ear infection, and multiple cuts and scrapes later, I was delighted to be home. Aside from all that, it was pretty fun. Next time, I'll be at the spa.

The part where Carrie Underwood sings from a pick-up truck hanging from the ceiling

2010-06-04T08:27:00.006-06:00

Last night I took a break my typical evening full of chores, cooking, and prying apart random items that had been super-glued together to go see Carrie Underwood at the Broomfield Event Center in Colorado. I loved her on American Idol years ago and she has proven without a doubt that she deserved every winning vote she received. Whether you like country music or not, one thing is clear - THAT CHICK CAN SING!

The best part was where she sang from a moving baby blue pick-up truck that was hanging from the ceiling. The crowd went crazy. I caught a few moments of it on my iphone below:

My sweetie had gotten "us" these tickets for Valentine's Day but casually mentioned I was welcome to take anyone I wanted. I assumed he wanted to go and was just being generous so I pleaded that I wanted to go with him. As the date got closer, he asked several more times if I was sure there wasn't someone else I wanted to take. Then it hit me how clueless I had been. He knew I would enjoy seeing Carrie Underwood but the only remotely interesting thing to him about her was her hockey playing fiance (Mike Fisher, an NHL hockey player for the Ottawa Senators). So I let him off the hook and took my cowboy-loving, horse-training, CruelGirl-wearing, country music-loving girlfriend, Jen. We had a blast! Though it was a late night for this early-bird, it was worth every minute!

Finding my blogging voice: 30 posts in 30 days

2010-06-01T09:30:00.001-06:00

After working with literally thousands of bloggers through my work at BlogFrog, I am surprised at how many of us are still finding and discovering our "blogging voice". Its not the act of writing that has us stumped. We're articulate. We know how to write. We can take a reader from point A to point B. We are moms, entrepreneurs, wives, nurses, politicians, and firefighters. Its not like we have nothing to write about! For me, its defining the starting point that stops me and halts the entire process for days or weeks. This (and being flat-out busy) is why I only post once a week, sometimes less. Which one of those inner women am I writing as?

I thought the answer to that question was simply a choice. Like I could ask myself "which of these inner women do you want to be today?". Just spend an intentional moment and empower yourself to make a choice. You know, take a logical approach. But its not that easy. As much as we like to compartmentalize our lives so it occurs organized (which equals control), we are whole beings, not recipes or lesson plans that can be neatly filed away and pulled out by subject when the need arises.

So I decided to flush the sucker out. I am doing an experiment that forces me to move too fast to over-think things (can you tell I do that?). If I had all the time in the world to make a decision about something, I would take it. If I was given 2 minutes to makes that same decision, I'd go with my gut. And my gut rarely disappoints me. So I am challenging myself to write 30 posts in 30 days. Not enough time to over-analyze things but enough time to actually act. This exercise will seem silly to those who already post everyday because you figured this out eons ago. But it will get me out of my head and into my heart, where I'm convinced my blogging voice really lives.

I started this project on May 23rd. Its been 9 days and I've written 7 posts. I'm a few behind but I am committed andI'll keep you posted on my progress!

Favorite moments from CBC

2010-05-31T09:25:00.019-06:00

Now that I have a good night's sleep and can function at least at half-capacity, I am sorting through my Casual Blogger Conference photos and remembering my favorite moments. While I love the instant connection and the relationships that slowly evolve online, nothing solidifies those friendships like meeting in person. Heck, it puts them on steroids. And even though it felt like I took a million pictures, I couldn't capture moments with everyone. So in no particular order, here are a few of memorable faces and moments. Disclaimer: I am not a photographer and these were all taken on my iPhone so please forgive the graininess and general lack of artistic talent :)

The photo above is one I snapped while taking a long walk one morning. I had a blissfully silent walk along the road from the hotel and enjoyed staring at the Wasatch mountain range.

Lisa (on the left) is one of the hard-working co-founders of CBC and Heather King is one the kindest, most sincere heartwarming ladies you will ever meet. She blogs at The Extraordinary Ordinary and you can find her on Twitter at @HeatheroftheEO.

This is the crowd we had for the Online Communities presentation that Rustin and I did. We talked about the power of using online communities to grow their blogs and walked them through how to use BlogFrog.

Me and my favorite mascot, Blogger the Frog!

Jennifer and I met on Twitter and I was thrilled to meet her in real life!

Another big highlight - meeting Courtney Kendrick, author of the blog C-Jane. She is as lovely and disarming in person as she is on her blog. Courtney was one of the earliest users of BlogFrog over a year ago and we are so grateful she gave our product a try way back when it was ugly and awkward. But she saw the potential in our little widget and stuck with us. Now look at how far we both have come! Thanks for all your awesome support, Courtney!

Sounds odd to say that a 25 minute ride to the airport could be a highlight, but when you are traveling with Jessica Bern (BernThis, @bernthis)) , Heather King (The Extraordinary Ordinary, @HeatheroftheEO), and Lori Anderson (@loriyay) , it can be incredibly entertaining. Jessica had us cracking up the entire way. After nine years as a comedian, she now channels her gift for humor into her blog.

To appreciate these next two ladies, you need some context. My company, BlogFrog, started over two years ago when Rustin Banks (BlogFrog's creator and CEO) programmed an early prototype during nights and weekends while working full-time as an engineer for an aerospace company. He and I launched the company early in 2009 and worked hard to get bloggers to try it. As with many early-stage start-ups, the product did not look nearly as elegant as it does today. Lets just say it was not very pretty and still had a lot of bugs to work out. But Laura Franklin (Better In Bulk, @1momof5 and Brandie Rudy (Rudy Family Rukus, @rudyrukus) gave us a chance and became loyal fans of BlogFrog. They overlooked our awkward appearance and saw the inner beauty and potential we had. They shared BlogFrog with their readers, gave us insightful feedback, and became two of our favorite champions. For that I will be forever grateful. We have shared lots of emails, tweets and discussions but until CBC, we'd never met in person. Laura and Brandie, thank you for being so amazing and talented and for giving us a chance when no one knew who we were! THANK YOU!

No, I didn't meet Magnum PI at CBC - this pic is just to see if you're are paying attention. Totally random but I find it hilarious that in this picture, Tom Selleck is holding the handset of a phone with no cord attached (um, they didn't even have cell phones back then). You can even see the little hole where the phone line plugs in. LOL.

For those I met and hugged at CBC, I look forward to keeping in touch on your blogs, Facebook, Twitter and in BlogFrog communities!

Home Sweet Home - back from CBC

2010-05-30T21:34:00.005-06:00

For some reason, my brain cannot process a blogging conference in pieces and blog about it along the way. I envy those who can. For me, the days pass in warp speed and I don't even begin to compute the experience until I'm on the plane on the way home. Same thing happened at BlissDom.

I am home from the Casual Blogging Conference now, in my comfy living room chair watching the boys (two of whom seemed to have grown as tall as me in the past three days) and their friends wolf down chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen and debate skinny jeans, Mountain Dew, and how many times they've seen Get Smart. Those familiar sounds assure me I am home. I am pleasantly exhausted, happy that at least I can nurse my stupor in the comfort of my own home.

The learning, advice, and knowledge shared will serve me for a long time to come. But the part I will cherish forever are the reunions with women who have grown to be my friends and the intros to inspiring bloggers I've always wanted to meet. It amazes me how eager and available women are to be in awe of other women for their accomplishments. It is a beautiful thing to witness and be part of. Watching connections begin, grow, and blossom into loyal friendships within days is par for the course at a gathering meant to celebrate women and their stories.

This post is the first phase. The part where I release a huge exhale and acknowledge that it all really happened. Today was about getting home, hugging my kids, unpacking, re-stocking the fridge (no cooking happens when I go away) and beginning the recovery process. Tomorrow I will actually try to remember what I learned.

Wordless Wednesday: A little planning would have gone a long way here

2010-05-28T07:31:00.006-06:00

I know its not Wednesday and I know this post is not wordless but I'm at the Casual Blogger Conference in Utah and I've been having too much fun hanging with bloggers to actually blog. This is an actual road sign along my commute to work. Um, someone didn't plan ahead very well. Ya think?

Five key questions that help you define your online brand

2010-05-26T15:12:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to attend Bloggy Boot Camp (Phoenix), one of several social media conferences put on around the country by the SITSGirls. One of the presentations was given by Amy Bradley-Hole, a PR and marketing expert who shared some excellent tips on how to create your brand online. She stressed the importance of asking five key questions that help define who you are (or want to be) both for yourself and your audience. I caught Amy at lunch between sessions and asked her to share what those key questions were.

5 Tips for Creating a Winning Brand. BlogFrog Interviews Amy Bradley-Hole! from Holly Hamann on Vimeo.

Amy's five key questions are:

What is your role on the web?
What are your core values and core principles?
What are your personality traits and core characteristics?
What is your story?
What is your promise to your readers, your fans, your twitter followers?

I love how authentic and clear she is in how she communicates her advice. You can find Amy on Twitter at @Amybhole and at www.TheBeeDot.com. I have been working through the five questions for my online brand and will share my answers in a future post!

Is that like riding in cars with boys?

2010-05-25T13:19:00.008-06:00

My blogging friend CrayonWrangler has a hilarious blog and she is as funny in person as she is online. Usually, people are that funny because a) they had too much dental work as a child, b) they have overcome challenges that forced them to find the humor in life c) they were trained as comedians. I suspect she is a mixture of all three.

Anyway, since I am on a new kick to do 30 posts in 30 days and hadn't figured out what to write about today, I'm going to join her link-up. She is asking us to share our tips on Cooking With Small Children. My kids are teenagers but I since that is such an awkward stage, I suspect the same rules apply. So here are my handful of tips for cooking with small children:

1. Don't let them wear necklaces, scarves, party hats, or anything dangley that could catch on fire or get caught in the oven door.

2. Don't just say "sure, you can lick the spoon" without first checking to make sure its just cookie dough and not straight vanilla, cayenne pepper, raw pork sausage, baking soda, or tiki torch fuel.

3. Don't measure things in a small glass and leave on the counter. Water, vodka, and distilled vinegar all look the same in a Mickey Mouse juice cup. Just sayin...

4. Don't stick utensils in the toaster to get stuff out even if you think they are not looking. They ARE looking and they WILL try it later when you are not around.

5. Teach them that just because Play-Doh looks like pretty marzipan, doesn't mean it tastes the same.

6. Lastly, tell them to leave the trucks, cars and other toys in the living room or they might end up like this.

Yes, that is a cast iron Hummer frozen in a block of ice.

On being 40-something

2010-05-23T13:00:00.002-06:00

Today is my birthday. Let’s just say I’m 40-something. As with most moms these days, my life is pretty hectic. My weeks are an exercise in master scheduling with three teens, sports events, band practice, after school activities, crazy hair day, yard work, and the full-time job of helping to run a company. This weekend, though, I took some time to reflect on my life and tried to put the past few decades into perspective. What came to mind first were the physical changes I’ve noticed from when I was in my twenties. I still work out almost every day but weights are no match for gravity. I go to bed earlier, I forget things, and I would rather read a book than crank rock tunes until my ears ring. And though that nostalgic list goes on and on, I would not trade being 40-something for anything.

When it comes to age, our culture has a love affair being young and encourages us to fear getting older. Today I want to be a voice for celebrating the beauty of being over 40. By the time we are 40, we are usually done trying to compare ourselves with everyone else’s looks, status, body, wealth, and achievements. There is a lovely, liberating moment where we finally see how exhausting that was anyway and how stupid and futile the whole exercise really is.

By the time we are 40, we get to say we know something. We know something about babies, about money, about health. We know something about politics, the environment, and relationships. I’ve been married, had a baby, been divorced, and was a single parent for over a decade. I’ve also flown a plane and a helicopter, been skydiving, met monks in Burma, started my own company, and last year, I ran my first marathon. I didn’t do those things because I had something to prove to anyone. I did them because I wanted to. I just wanted to see what it felt like.

It is incredibly inspiring knowing we don’t need anyone’s permission to live our lives the way we want to. Do we have responsibilities with work, relationships and family? Absolutely. Do they define who we are as women? Absolutely not.

I know myself better now than I ever have in the past. I am my own best friend and I finally trust my own judgment. I get to take 40+ years of experience and use it to live the next 40 the most amazing way I know how. And that is a pretty cool thought. So here’s to all of us who are loving the wisdom of being “slightly mature” and there’s a big hug waiting for all of you who look have this awesome age to look forward to.

I spent Mother's Day at the track .......

2010-05-10T19:06:00.007-06:00

The go-kart racetrack, that is. But that was just ONE part of my incredibly fun day yesterday. The entire day was just perfect. It had the right mix of lounging, pampering, fun, excitement, indulgence, and bonding. After breakfast, home-made mocha lattes, a 90-minute massage, flowers, and one Powerball ticket later, I ended up here:

Mother's Day at the Speedway! from Holly Hamann on Vimeo.

I was a bit tired today but it was all totally worth it and the memories are priceless. Maybe we'll go skydiving next year :)

Guest post by my son - Family Reunions

2010-04-30T08:28:00.007-06:00

My 14 year-old son, Noah, is guest blogging for me today. This is his first blog post!

(photo by miadelie)

Family reunions in Minnesota are a blast. Each is different at first, but they get better and better the more you go. Every summer me and my Dad fly or drive up to Minnesota, and every trip we make is a completely different experience. We always choose a resort, or a couple of cabins and they have to be by a lake. Because what good is going to the land of 10,000 lakes if you don’t see a lake while you’re there? Water sports are some of the most fun you can have, whether its tubing, wakeboarding, waterskiing, knee boarding or any other kind of water sport. Almost all of them happen in Minnesota. Whenever I get to the cabin where we are staying, I have all of about two minutes to get my things unpacked before I get an invite to go tubing.

Tubing is my personal favorite because it can be rough, or it can be a smooth, enjoyable ride. Normally I choose a rough ride because there is so much competition. If you fall off the tube last, you are entitled to bragging rights. And being from Colorado, I am almost always the first one to fall off.

Another thing that I love about going to Minnesota is that everything is very relaxed. Shoes and socks are almost non-existent, and feel strange to put on after a week of going barefoot. I have so many memories there that I will never forget. And I am sure that going up to Minnesota would not be the same without family. That is why they are called family reunions.

***************************

Thanks, Noah! Do you have regular family reunions? Share some of your favorite experiences in my BlogFrog discussion here!

How much are your blog readers worth to an advertiser?

2010-04-18T17:33:00.014-06:00

This weekend I spent time looking at Adify.com. a technology platform provider that helps advertisers, content aggregators and individual publishers build and commercialize premium vertical ad networks.

According to their website, Adify's platform powers more than 160 of the world's best vertical ad networks and connects premium brand advertisers to the thousands (perhaps millions) of long-tail sites with niche content. Adify was acquired by Cox in 2008 for $300 million.

While combing through their site, I came across this interesting chart that shows the average CPM throughout 2009, by genre of audience. CPM, or Cost Per Thousand, is the cost an advertiser pays for a thousand impressions of an ad to a particular audience. For example, in Q4 of 2009, advertisers paid an average of $7.48 for 1,000 displays of an ad to a Sports audience. Advertisers wanting to reach a Food audience paid $2.89. Huge difference.

Looking at the CPM trend over 2009 tells an interesting story about brands and the trending worth of online consumer audiences. At the beginning of the year, Healthy Living and Lifestyle was the most valuable, with a CPM of $8.76. By the end of year, Travel was the hottest, at $8.95. Overall, all categories were down by the end of the year. Sometimes in a recession, it won't matter what CPM you pay if consumers simply can't afford to spend (just look at the CPM trend for real estate).

I was happy to see that Moms and Parents, while falling towards the end of the year, consistently remained near the top. I'm curious to see if the numbers have changed in Q1 of this year, especially given a growing climate of economic optimism among consumers, of which Moms and Parents tend to be the most powerful.

Adify's mission is to help advertisers, agencies, and publishers make better sense of an ever-increasingly fragmented web audience. I'm especially interested in how they accomplish this because a driving force behind the fragmentation of audiences and site content is the growth of blogs. Blogs make it very easy for individuals to publish content that attracts niche readers. If Adify can help brands connect with blogs and blog readers (who are often very passionate about their interests), they will do well.

The Gift of an Ordinary Day

2010-03-27T19:10:00.010-06:00

Today, my friend Stefanie told me about Katrina Kenison and her book (and video) titled "The Gift of an Ordinary Day" and I was so moved that I wanted to share it with others. I have three teen boys who seemed to have grown up right before my eyes. I was a single parent (for my biological son) for over 10 years and remember many moments where I secretly wished the future would arrive faster so he'd be more capable, more mature, more helpful so I wouldn't always feel like the tired, hurried mommy. If he would just go potty by himself, life would be easier. If he could just climb out of the car by himself and tie his own shoes, my life would not be so hectic. If he could just make himself a sandwich or take a bath on his own, I'd have have more time. I'm embarrassed to admit I even remember thinking "if he could just read by himself, I'd get more chores done".

I occasionally catch myself doing it now, even though my 14 year old now mows the grass, does his own laundry and washes the dishes after dinner. If he could just drive, I wouldn't have to leave work early. If he could just get a job, I wouldn't be constantly shelling out allowance. Katrina's words are wonderful reminders for me to savor the ordinary and cherish the moments where I still have the opportunity to help him, to teach him, and simply enjoy him. Soon he'll be in high school, than college, and living independently out in the world without any help from me. When that time comes, I suspect I'll trade anything to tie one more shoe, make one more sandwich, read one more book, and shuttle one more teen to the sporting goods store.

Imagining what that longing will be like makes me suddenly grateful that I have a few more years to have everyday moments with my kids. I have a whole new appreciation for the time I have left with them in my house. So excuse me, I have a sandwich to make.

What are some of the ordinary moments you cherish with your kids? Join the discussion in my BlogFrog community here!

The New York Times: Friend or Foe to Mom Bloggers?

2010-03-15T08:14:00.007-06:00

There has been a lot of discussion over the past few days about the New York Times article that came out on Friday. The headline was Honey, Don't Bother Mommy, I'm Too Busy Building My Brand. The NYT author was covering Bloggy Boot Camp, one of five blogging conferences being held in major cities around the country. The conference was created by the founders of SITS (The Secret Is In The Sauce), amazing women whose mission is to create a convenient, affordable way to teach other women about social media and blogging.

While its great to have your industry covered by a publication of that stature, the powerful facts were tempered by what many considered to be an underlying patronizing tone. Like when something sounds like a compliment but feels like an insult. And while my ego wants to get defensive and mad, a wiser part started to recognize it for something else. Something good.

A sign of progress.

I know, sounds crazy. But think about it. Every revolution, every significant wave of cultural progress in history did not come without controversy, misconceptions, and resistance.

Despite how it was packaged and spun, the facts remain undeniably clear. When there are 23 million women engaging in a technological wave (blogging) that has still yet to reach mainstream, they are a "cultural force to be reckoned with" (NYT quote). When women and moms take time from their families and jobs to sit in a room and study the policies of the Federal Trade Commission, the world better look out. There is change a-coming.

Call it what you want. Call it a market segment. Call it a demographic. Call it a fad, a trend, or NYT's media filler meant to bridge the attention span gap between the Olympics and March Madness Final Four. Me, I call it a movement. The cool thing about movements is they will happen whether you are on board or not. Movements are led by people who are tired of standing around waiting for someone else to step up so they take charge. Movements are led by people (in this case women) who are brave enough to take the criticism, the controversy, and misconceptions so those who come ahead won't have to. Movements are followed by those who make the challenge personal and contribute any way they can. Movements are resisted and criticized by those afraid of change, even when it is for the better. Starting to get the picture?

So whether you agree with the article or not, see it for the catalyst it is. It got people talking and debating. It got people so riled up that they could not help but be part of the conversation. And THAT is where the real influence it. THAT is where you as a blogger have way more power than any media conglomerate. The New York Times article was outdated 10 seconds after they published it. But the conversation about the article will be current for as long as bloggers, journalists, and the media keep it alive. If you want to change the perception many still have of mom bloggers and set the record straight, just keep being part of the conversation. Keep blogging and tweeting about it. Keep tracks about PR on your conference agendas. Keep making money from your traffic. Keep seeking out those who know more, learn from them, and then pass that knowledge on. Because real change will not come from engaging the people who already see it your way, it will come from engaging the people who don't.

If I were a newspaper losing millions of readers and paid subscribers to blogs (which I am not), would I be a bit resentful and tempted to package the stats in a pretty pink patronizing ribbon? Perhaps. If I were a women looking for smart, passionate women to break out of stereotypes and create real change in the world (which I am), than I say the NYT did us a favor.

What do you think of the article? Do you think it hurt the mom blogging segment more than it helped? If so, what do you plan to do about it? Come join the discussion in my BlogFrog forum here.

Dell Customer Support : Not better than a sharp poke in the eye

2010-03-05T18:00:00.015-07:00

I don't normally do a lot of ranting on my blog. I like to keep things generally positive, inspiring, or at least informative. But real life doesn't work that way so neither should my blog. I recently had (and continue to have) a frustrating, bewildering and completely negative experience with Dell Customer Service that I decided to share it with you. For both our sakes. For me, I need an outlet for my rage so I don't take it out on the cat, and you need to be warned of what you are in for if you ever contact Dell asking them to stand behind their product.

I bought a Dell laptop, Studio XPS last May, about 9 months ago. It never was a stellar piece of hardware but over the months, it grew increasingly more unreliable. The screen would black out, the sound would come and go, it didn't recognize peripherals, it took no less than 15 minutes to shut down. Applications would freeze and the battery drained unusually fast. And all these problems would occur randomly and without warning. Like half-way through a blog post or when I was presenting, in a hurry, or trying to make a deadline. I actually grew accustomed to rebooting the thing from 3-5 times per day.

I bought the computer at Best Buy and made that my first stop for help. The said they only take returns within 20 days of purchase. They'd be happy to run diagnostics and try to repair it, but for a price. I wanted whoever made it to fix it or give me a new one. Since we were still within the year warranty period, they said I needed to call Dell. I should have seen where this was going to end.

I took notes and tweeted during the call to Dell, mainly because I needed something to do while I was on hold for so long and thought it would be fun to capture the adventure. I don't want to bore you with the annoying details but here were the highlights via my Twitter stream:

There is one exchange during the call I will never forget. I had asked for the manager and was explaining to him that the return window at Best Buy had expired so I was invoking the one-year warranty that came with the computer. This is as close as I can remember the conversation:

Manager: If you bought the computer at Best Buy, you need to take it back to Best Buy.
Me: But the warranty on the computer is with Dell.
Manager: Who did you actually pay the money to when you bought the computer, Best
Buy or Dell?
Me: Well, of course I paid Best Buy, but they bought the computer from you.
Manager: Well Best Buy buys the computers in bulk, they didn't buy your specific computer individually from us.
Me: They still bought it from you. So you're telling me that I have to take the computer back to Best Buy if I want any problems fixed.
Manager: yes, ma'am
Me: But the computer says Dell on it, its your product. You manufactured it.
Manager: I am sorry we can't repair it for you. I can transfer you to a technical representative who can help troubleshoot the problems over the phone.

Can you believe that?! The Manager actually tried to convince me that because I paid the actual money to Best Buy that Dell was not responsible for the defective product. And this isn't a reply this guy was making up on the spot. HE WAS TRAINED TO SAY THAT.

I eventually caved after an hour because I wasn't making any progress and we scheduled a service call-back for later that day. That call was to come from a technical rep who would walk me through their trouble-shooting process. That was 4 days ago and they have yet to call back.

I haven't decided what my next steps will be. I know now that will never never never buy another Dell product. Not only will I not buy one, I will encourage everyone I know and care about not to ever buy a Dell product EVER.

In the meantime, meet my new BFF. She's fast, powerful, reliable, sturdy, elegant, and comes with great customer service.

Abby Sunderland: a lesson in dreaming big

2010-02-22T11:06:00.007-07:00

I am sitting here on a United flight headed to Mexico for a quick getaway with some friends. Just a few days. Long enough to relax but not long enough for people to realize I was even gone. As we approach the airport in Cancun, I can’t help but think of Abby Sunderland, a new blogger I began following a few weeks ago. Her story is an amazing one and has a connection to Mexico.

Abby is 16 years old and is one of 7 children. She lives in Thousand Oaks, CA and has been around boats and water since she was an infant. From the time she was 13, Abby knew exactly what she wanted to do in life. She wanted to be the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo. Her parents and friends thought she was kidding and tried to reason her out of it. But every time they would bring it up, she just kept asking “where’s my boat?”.

Two weeks ago, Abby left Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and is sailing solo around the world. I don’t know about you but it takes a minute for my brain to let that fact sink in. It will take her six months. Thanks to technology, she is connected to a support team that helps her navigate and keeps her safe. And here’s the part I find so fascinating. Not only is she living this dream, but she blogs about it every day from her boat at AbbysBlog.

We can learn about the mechanics of Wild Eyes, her 40-foot sailboat, and read about the squid that keep hanging out on her deck. She writes about cooking in her small galley, how she sleeps (or doesn’t) and the emotions she experiences on her journey. I love how it makes my challenges seem so insignificant and manageable. I work through my issues surrounded by the convenience of instant access to people, food, shelter, and comfort. Abby is on a boat, by herself, in the middle of the ocean. I LOVE that!

Here’s the other part I love. How does a 16 year girl get the inspiration to sail around the world alone when the rest of us don't even go to the ladies room by ourselves? She got inspired because she watched her older brother to the exact same thing the year before. How wonderful for her that she had proof of exactly how much is possible, even at her age, when you dream big and you don’t take no for an answer.

My kids are teenagers and just a few years younger than Abby. Her story inspires me to spend more time reminding them of what’s possible and less time warning them about all the things that can go wrong.

Three days of BlissDom - is it really over?

2010-02-09T09:00:00.003-07:00

I am writing this from the plane on my way back from BlissDom 2010, one of the largest blogging conferences for women. It’s a good thing the flight to Denver is several hours from Nashville and that I forgot my book, and don’t have an internet connection. It gives me time to reflect on the time I spent with some of the most inspiring, giving, talented women I have ever met in one place. I’m sure it will take me days or even weeks to process everything and fully absorb the impact those women will have on my life but for now, I will just let myself breath and simply remind myself that it really did happen. It wasn’t a dream.

To fully grasp how soulful this experience was for me, you have to first know that I live in a houseful of men (my partner and three teenage boys). I also work with all men at my company. My online world is teaming with sisters – thousands of them, but my day-to-day connections are mostly with men. That’s not a bad thing at all - its just a different energy.

I really did spend three days with 500 women who are all on a quest to share their stories and inspire their communities. I really did get to learn from phenomenal bloggers who shared their knowledge about writing, social media and branding. I really did get to eat, play, and laugh with writers and artists who are following their passions and blazing a trail for millions of other women. And I really did get to present to them all at the final night’s keynote address. The best part of it all was that somewhere along the way in the conversations about SEO, PPC and ad models, I made some really good friends.

Once I process the whole experience, I will surely write more posts since I could never fit my thoughts all into one. For now, I am savoring every memory and smiling to myself. I am already excited about going next year!

My own Happiness Project

2010-02-01T21:30:00.008-07:00

I've been reading Gretchen Rubin's new book, The Happiness Project. I'm only on chapter 2 (which is all about remembering love) and I can already tell its my kind of book. I have a bent for books that inspire me to stretch beyond the status quo and strive for something just a bit better. It always is worth the read. And I especially like books about happiness. I have total respect for any author that tries to tackle a topic as nebulous and epic as happiness. Its like trying to get rid of the common cold. There are a million remedies for how to make you suffer less, shorten the duration, and cover the symptoms, but there still isn't a real cure.

There are some other great books I've read on happiness. One favorite is Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. This is not an easy read, very scientific, but fascinating none-the-less. "The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task."

Another great book on happiness was What Happy People Know, by Dan Baker, Ph.D. This one was an easy, enjoyable read. One of the points I remember the most was that happy people tend to have positive spins on their past, even if their lives were full of trauma and challenge. Happy people also tend to believe they are lucky.

Happiness, by Mattieu Ricard was another book I read during my happiness bender but I only got half-way through and never finished. Not sure why. It was certainly well-written and well-researched but I think it just never spoke to my heart. If I am in search of knowledge or information, I'll stick it out with a book that doesn't inspire me, just to get at the core of the insight. But if I want motivation or inspiration, you gotta make me FEEL something. Matthieu Ricard was a Buddhist monk so that alone should make me want to finish it, but something must have distracted me. Chocolate cake often does that.

What earnest quest for happiness would be complete without The Art of Happiness by His Holiness The Dalai Lama? I love this geeky leader of Tibet. He came to Denver about 3 years ago and we dragged all the kids to hear him speak. Of course they had the attention spans of gnats but I think you get something out of just being in the presence of enlightenment like that (kinda like fresh air, sunshine, or a big glass of milk). I read this a long time ago and can't even remember what he wrote but I'm sure it was poignant and left some inner animated happiness knight deep in my psyche who still battles my inner pessimism at night with a big Excaliber-like sword while I sleep. Maybe that's why I wake up with headaches.

Why is it that we can read the same advice over and over and still not get it? Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn happy. In fact, my nickname growing up was Jolly Holly. Not as classy or cool as some nicknames but evidence I was born with a good, solid dose of contentment. Its just that a lot of these books draw the same conclusions. Happiness is not about money, fame, power, sex, or beauty. Its about things that are deeper, simpler, and so much more within our grasp. In fact, its there for the taking. So why do we make it so hard? I think that is for each person to answer on their own.

I know that I will forget many of the insights I will read about in Gretchen Rubin's book. But I like being in the presence of words about happiness. And when I forget, I'll find the next best-selling book about happiness and read that one. And the next one. And maybe, one day, some of it will start to sink in. And that thought makes me happy :)

First snow

2010-01-10T19:34:00.010-07:00

Over the holidays, my brother, his wife, and their 5 year old daughter came to stay with us for a week. It was one of the best holidays I've had in years for several reasons. One, it was wonderful to have family with us. I grew up in rural Maryland, on the water, in a family of seven. My siblings and I now live all over the country, from Maryland, Arkansas, Colorado, to California. We all have families of our own and get together every few years for family reunions and special occasions but there is nothing like having them around for the holidays.

While I wish my parents and siblings, and our families could all be together (there would be 21 of us!), I felt grateful to have even a handful of us.

Another reason it was special was my niece had never seen snow before. Maybe as a baby, but she had no recollection. So guess what it did the second night they were here - IT SNOWED! Big, fluffy flakes that fell for two days straight. Here are a few special pics from that week:

Look closely and you'll see that my brother his writing his daughter's name in the snow with his tracks.

What the kids wanted to leave for Santa - Soy milk, cookies, cheese, and cranberries :)

Evidence that kids have been playing in the snow all day.

The house was a mess, there was mud and snow everywhere, gloves were lost and noses frozen. And I hope it happens again soon.

Why playing by recession-era rules is good for your business

2009-12-28T11:55:00.003-07:00

About nine months ago, my business partner, Rustin, and I both quit our full-time jobs to start a Web2.0 company that builds social features for blogs. We had no funding, no office, a few customers, and operated the company from our savings. We both have families to support, mortgages to pay and college educations to save for. What person in their right mind would quit their job during the worst economy since the Great Depression?

Starting a company in the middle of a recession certainly has its challenges. Funding is hard to come by and investors are gun-shy. It’s tougher to get loans and skilled employees who have jobs are less likely to leave for riskier ventures. Consumers have less money to spend on products and are very selective about what they do spend money on. While all those things might be true, with tough times comes great opportunity. There are pools of extremely talented people who are looking for work and willing to take below-market salaries to join a great team. Employees are more flexible about relocating, work hours, and job sharing. Commercial property rates are lower and the cost of travel is down. The challenging economy also means fewer companies will start new ventures, which results in fewer competitors.

From a product perspective, a tight economy and skeptical investment climate forces us to be ruthless in our product development. We don’t have the luxury of going in ten different directions and chasing features that are cool but way outside our core vision (we call those “bright shiny objects”). If we spend one day on something that doesn’t further the goal of solving our customers problems, we have wasted precious time. Competitors with more money and resources will eat our lunch if we take our eye off the ball for a minute.

And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

We are conditioned to think fast, test often, be brutal with priorities and involve feedback from real customers every step of the way.

We still don’t have a fat budget, fancy office or corporate salary. What we do have is a customer base of over 22,000 customers that grows every day. We launch features in weeks, not months. We’re able to advance swiftly in a market where others have retreated with a wait-it-out mentality. We are making significant progress and have overcome hurdles with customers, investors, and competitors. We’re even driving revenue sooner than we thought we would.

Being forced to play by recession-era rules is good for our business. Our gutsy move is paying off and we’re months ahead of where we would be if we’d played it safe and waited. Sometimes what looks like a challenge is really fate handing you a lottery ticket and inviting you to play a bigger game.

BlogFrog and The Children's Hospital

2009-12-10T16:21:00.004-07:00

I love it when I get to do marketing that not only benefits our blogging members, but gives back to a worthy cause, too.

This month, BlogFrog is hosting the "Give the gift of community" challenge. For every BlogFrog community that adds 20 new participants between now and the end of the year, BlogFrog will donate $10 to The Children's Hospital, one of the top 10 hospitals serving children and teens.

Here's how to participate:

Install a BlogFrog community on your site (if you already have one, you are one step ahead!). Just visit BlogFrog to get instructions on how to install a community (takes 5 minutes).
Make sure the widget is high enough to be easily seen by your visitors.
Announce your community to your readers in a post and tell them about the "Give the Gift of Community" challenge. For every community that adds 20 new participants (someone who has not participated in your community before and starts a discussion or replies to one) before the end of the year, BlogFrog will donate $10 to The Children's Hospital (up to $400)!
Spread the word about your new community by sharing discussions on Twitter and include the #blogfrog hashtag so other BlogFrog members can join and re-tweet.
Every community that adds at least 20 new participants during the campaign will be promoted in our next newsletter and on our website as "Blogs that gave the gift of Community".

BlogFrog keeps track of new participants and will be posting about the fund-raising progress in its member's community, on Twitter, and Facebook.

Thanks everyone!

13 ways running a start-up is like having a baby

2009-12-07T16:31:00.007-07:00

I have given birth to one child and at least 5 start-ups. I might have a few illegitimate start-ups out there that I don't know about but we'll save that for another post. I had a blinding moment of delusion today with my current start-up where I experienced the exact same feeling I did as the mother of a newborn. It was a day where one microscopic sign of progress overshadowed months of endless challenge, preparation, and self-sacrifice. How can that be?! How can the joy of one tiny hint of improvement elicit a feeling so out of proportion to the work that led up to it?

Then it hit me. The absurd number of ways that running a start-up is like having a baby. Here are my top thirteen:

The idea to have a baby, or quit your job to run a start-up during a recession, usually has something to do with tequila.
Nausea is the first sign that you are pregnant or have agreed to join a start-up.
The vomiting eventually stops in the 2nd trimester, or when you release your beta version, whichever comes first.
You are for sure pregnant (or are a shareholder in a start-up) when your partner now owns half of everything that gets produced.
You will be too tired for sex until the baby is sleeping thru the night or you've hired someone to handle customer support, whichever comes first.
The average birth costs about $50,000 depending on your health insurance policy and PR agency fees.
You'll resist the urge to rip a total stranger's kidney out thru their left nostril when they tell you your baby is ugly or that your interface doesn't conform to the latest GUI standards. Even if they're right.
It is inevitable that your baby will make a mistake that lands you on the front page of the local paper and gets virally propagated across every social network. You will be subject to much public humiliation and embarrassment until another start-up makes a bigger blunder.
Plan to fork over an allowance and expect nothing in return. Somewhere between $10 to $100,000 per week, depending on the economy and the cost of a movie-sized box of Milk Duds.
Expect to be infinitely patient as your baby (and start-up) experiments with its identity and then eventually grows up to be something far removed from what you originally planned.
You will spend the next 18 years teaching your baby, and your start-up, how to earn money on its own.
You will instantly forget how much pain you went thru the moment your baby is acquired by a search engine giant for $230 million dollars.
Despite being broke, exhausted, aged, and divorced, you will decide to do it all over again.

Wordless Wednesday: What happens when you take teenagers grocery shopping......

2009-12-02T14:39:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday: You know summer is officially over when......

2009-11-25T07:30:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday was started by the fabulous ladies at 5MinutesForMom.

The Eggo heard round the world

2009-11-21T15:08:00.022-07:00

When news of an Eggo waffle shortage makes national headlines you know we have our media coverage priorities in the wrong place. Are people that tired of hearing about war? Is there a lull in medical breakthroughs that cure terrible diseases? Did Kelloggs hire a brilliant team of marketers?

Who knows. But I must admit I had a blast mocking the absurdity of it all. I ran to the freezer to see if we had any of the once-abundant treats and sure, enough, we had two boxes. I immediately posted them on eBay for $49.99. eBay doesn't have a food category so I listed them under "collectibles".

Here is the actual description that accompanies the listing:

Don't let the national shortage of Eggo waffles ruin your morning tradition. Do you want to disappoint your kids? Your spouse? What are you going to say when they bounce down the stairs expecting the carbo-dense treat they've eaten every morning since they were five?

Be the hero! While the rest of the world stares at a boring bowl of oatmeal, your family can mock the losers while stabbing a big pile of Eggo waffles drenched in syrup. Just be sure to close the blinds so the neighbors don't see.

Two 10ox boxes of Kellogg Nutri-grain Eggo waffles. 10 waffles in each box.

I figured the waffles were worth $5.00 and refrigerated shipping would account for the other $44.99. I got a full-on hour of laughs out of just posting them but the joke got even better when I started to receive inquiries and comments from people. Some played along with my joke and others thought I was serious. Both provided even more laughs. Here are several of the actual questions I received (and my replies):

thumpliz: Do you provide REAL Maple syrup with these waffles? I also hope it's from Canada because the stuff from here is crap. I'm very interested in your waffles.
me: Yes, REAL maple syrup is included. Our connections in Canada are giving us a good deal. I can tell you are a true collector of vintage and rare items. Only a professional would know to ask about syrup before bidding.

andrew7882: No way in hell!
me: Understandable. Hell does not allow such grainy goodness.

rockothebird: Are you a moron?
me: You sound bitter. You should eat more whole grains.

One person asked if my waffles in any way resembled Sarah Palin. And just when I thought it couldn't get better, I learned my Eggo listing had caught the attention of The Washington Post and Smart Spending. By now there were many other Eggo waffle products for auction on eBay.

And what's a good tragedy without Twitter flurry? Here are some of my favorite tweets about the crisis:

And there you have it. I hear there is now a shortage of canned pumpkin......

Do your pets get along this well?

2009-11-03T15:11:00.008-07:00

While weeding through some files I recently rescued from a crashed laptop (thanks GeekSquad), I came across this video of our bird, Buddy, playing with my son's dog Skooby. Skooby was insanely smart, as most Border Collies are, and it is amazing to watch him as he patiently processes the fact that he has a bird walking around on top of his head. Skooby passed away earlier this year so I'm posting this video in his honor.

5 Ways Marketers Can Use Twitter Lists

2009-11-03T14:44:00.005-07:00

I subscribe to some great MediaPost publications and a favorite columnist of mine is David Berkowitz, one of the authors of the Social Media Insider newsletter. Today he wrote a great article about Twitter lists called Make A Twitter List and Check it Twice. Those of us using Tweetdeck or Seesmic Desktop have been making lists for a while (also called Groups), but Twitter now enables lists on its site and has added the ability to share and monitor them, which is very useful. While the whole article was valuable, he offered five powerful ways marketers can use lists:

1) Aggregate multiple professional accounts

If you have several faces of your business on Twitter. It's a natural for businesses like Comcast, which has a number of customer service representatives on Twitter, or Zappos, which has hundreds of employees tweeting. This can also work well for a company like Walmart that has a section on its site with all of its Twitter handles. A newspaper can bring together all of its reporters, or a packaged goods conglomerate can compile all of its brands in lists. Even if these lists don't bring in millions of new consumers or clients as followers, they may be useful for important constituents such as reporters, investors, or employees.

2) Aggregate passionate consumers

If you run a TV show, make a list of tweeters who love talking about every last plot twist. If you're a travel company, consider making lists of some of the most vocal Twitter users in each city where you have a presence. If you're a product manager for a technology brand, pull together all your die-hard fans. At the very least, you'll make it easier for all of these influencers to find each other to expand the noise in your echo chamber. But packaged right, it could be a way to pull in new fans and show others how much passion there is for your brand beyond those on its payroll.

3) Be a resource

Make lists of the most knowledgeable people in your industry, whether they're colleagues, reporters, consumers, or even competitors. While my lists are a work in progress, I've added many friends and people I respect from other agencies to lists. Mostly this will be convenient for me, but I'm more than happy to make these lists public in case they're useful to others.

4) Monitor what lists you're on

And what lists include your competitors and peers. It's a way to gauge anecdotal brand perception. You can also find new people to follow this way.

5) Share lists beyond Twitter

It's going to take a while for lists to catch on beyond early adopters; this highly anticipated feature for die-hard tweeters may just be one more thing to learn for casual users. If you cater to early adopters, though, creating useful lists and sharing them in other channels like your site, email newsletters, or Facebook page should resonate.

Thanks, David!

Real-time social media counter

2009-10-13T15:41:00.007-06:00

OK, this has got to be the coolest widget I have ever seen! Blogger Gary Hayes has created a continuously updating widget, which displays the real-time use and adoption of various social media platforms and applications. See how many blog postings were published in the last five seconds; how many people have joined Facebook; how much money has been spent on virtual goods; how many videos watched on YouTube; how many tweets sent via Twitter; etc.

Want this widget on your site? I got the code (and the description above) from Personalize Media.

Road tar is not a substitute for nail polish

2009-10-13T10:00:00.000-06:00

Somehow, the freezing Colorado weather has me missing my childhood summers growing up on the Chesapeake bay. Then, out of nowhere, pops this memory- which I had NOT missed.

There were five of us kids and we lived in a very rural area of Maryland. The back-country roads were mostly black tar and they would get so hot in the summer the road tar would get hot and bubbly. We decided it would be fun to "paint" our fingernails and toenails with the black tar. We scraped the soft tar up and smeared it on all our nails (5 kids x 20 fingers/toes = 100 tar-covered nails). But the time we walked home, the tar had cooled and hardened. My mom was appalled/shocked/angry to say the least. She would not let us into the house until got it off. So we sat outside for hours with the hose trying to scrape, scrub, and wash the tar off our nails. As a reminder, road tar, by design, is meant to last a VERY LONG time. I don't recall how long it took to get it off, or even if we got it all off that day, but it sticks in my mind as a painful lesson for my siblings and I. I have never done it since :)

Note to marketers: Less talking, more listening

2009-09-30T10:02:00.011-06:00

I'm often amazed at how many times I need to hear a message before it sinks in. In the marketing world, they say a person has to actually see your message at least six times or more before it motivates them to take action. When you are the one responsible for getting the message out those six times, its humbling to be reminded that listening is more important than talking.

My business partner, Rustin, and I have been working like crazy people for the past month building a new set of Premium features to help bloggers get more visibility for their blogs. We've sorted through hundreds of emails from users who write to us with suggestions, ideas, complaints, kudos, and "what ifs". Every time someone takes five minutes to write us an email or tweet us feedback, its like a gold nugget of insight. Making time to sort through this feedback is one way of listening. But listening is not a one time event. Its not like you can listen today and then say you're good for the rest of the month.

Our next step is to build the features we heard people wanted, give them back to users to play with and then ask "Is this what you wanted?". Its another way of asking "Did we hear you correctly?" After you do that, shut up and listen again. If we marketers would stay quiet long enough and tone down our urge to put thoughts in other people's heads, we might actually hear what they really want. Its way more efficient (and profitable) to give users what they really want instead of trying to convince them they want or need something you want them to want.

So we've had our listening hats on for weeks. We released the new set of Premium Features on Friday to our Community Leaders, a group of 30+ super-users who love our product and are opinionated about what makes them happy. The pickier the better, I say. We emailed, twittered, and talked on the phone. We walked through every screen and asked about icons, links, messaging and expectations. We made changes over the weekend and today we'll send our Premium features back out into the world to an even larger audience to try. This time, we're inviting our Facebook fans and a set of randomly selected users to give it a whirl.

Once we invite them to try it, I will bite my tongue and listen. If you teach your users that you are open to receiving criticism and feedback (and genuinely mean it), you will find a very willing audience of people eager to help make your product better. So stay tuned and I'll share how this next "wave" of features was received.

Note: Want to be one of the users to try our new Premium features early? Sign up here and let me know what you think. I promise I will listen :)

6 tips for getting your blog noticed

2009-09-24T10:53:00.005-06:00

I read lots of social media blogs and participate in some great blogging communities and one of the most often-asked questions by bloggers is "How can I get more people to notice my blog?" While there are books and entire consulting business built around answering that question, there are definitely some basic, self-help tactics that can make a huge difference. I work with thousands of bloggers and here are six easy tips that seem to really help:

1. Twitter
If you are a blogger, it really pays to learn to love Twitter. Its a great way to share your new posts with a large audience and find other blogs to comment on. You can also search Twitter by topic (i.e. "teenagers" or "day care") and share your posts with people who are looking for info you might have blogged about.

2. Use Categories and Tag on your posts
Both Blogger and Wordpress let you add keywords to each post (and WP lets you add categories). Assigning a category to each post helps your readers find "buckets" of posts that were written about the same topic. If they liked your posts about "disciplining a toddler" or "getting toddlers to each vegetables", they might like your other posts about toddlers. Also, take a few moments with each post and think about what terms someone might type into Google. Adding those keywords helps search engines connect your blog with people who are looking for topics you've written about. Here's a great article from Problogger on Using Categories and Tags Effectively.

3. Comment on other posts
Not just a quick "hi - love your pics!" but a genuine, thoughtful comment that tells that blogger you really connected with their site and looked around. Your comment can add value to that bloggers post by providing even more info for their readers. Make your comment as interesting to read as the post.

4. Guest post on other blogs
Most sites and blogs are always looking for more content and posts. It gives the blog author a break for a day and exposes your writing to new readers. Its tempting to think that your efforts would be better spent on your own blog but giving to others ALWAYS comes back to you.

5. Link to bigger blogs
I'm not suggesting you go link-crazy but its helps your Google rankings when you link to larger blogs that have high "credibility" ratings with search engines. So if you are posting about something at Target, go ahead and hyperlink to their site. If you blogging about a product, store, celebrity, quoting from a news source, visiting a city - link to their site.

6. Add social tools to your blog such as BlogFrog
BlogFrog is a network of almost 20,000 bloggers who all link to one another via widgets. So when you visit a BlogFrog site, your blog actually shows up on their widget for ALL their readers to see. It drives reciprocal traffic. You can even add an instant community to your site that lets readers interact, which draws more traffic. (In the interest of full disclosure, I am one of the founders of BlogFrog. Members have shared many stories about how their traffic has increased after signing up for BlogFrog because more people were discovering their blogs so I thought it appropriate to share).

Just wanted to share some tips that bloggers I have worked with seem to really like. If you have tips or advice you'd like to share - please comment!

Is it healthy to let kids win at games?

2009-09-19T10:22:00.012-06:00

I was playing chess with my teenager this week and it got me thinking about the many years we have spent playing games – chess, checkers, card games, Monopoly, Risk and dozens of others. When he was younger, I would often let him win and it got me thinking about the benefits and pitfalls of letting kids win at games.

Some experts claim that letting kids win at games gives them a false sense of confidence and undermines the natural process of dealing with failure. That letting kids win is essentially stealing a learning opportunity that would otherwise motivate them to strive to get better. “Throwing the game in the kid's favor is not a healthy way for him to learn about relating and playing well with others…” says Alyssa Giacobbe in her post Why I Never Let my Four Year Old Win at Games.

Others believe that letting younger kids win helps balance the intellectual inequality that clearly exists between parent and child. In games of skill and intellect, an adult win is hollow and only teaches kids that they can never win. In her iVillage.com post, Should You Let Kids Win at Games?, author Sarah Caron quotes Susan T. Howson, a professor of early childhood education at Ryerson University in Toronto. "Younger children often have a harder time losing a game and (associate) losing a game with not being good at anything. As self-esteem and self-confidence are developing, losing might be a hard thing to swallow." says Howson.

Whether or not letting kids win is a good thing depends on the awareness a parent brings to the decision. In her post Letting a Child Win, How Bad?, Sabrina Weill at ParentDish.com quotes some great points from Robert Schachter, a New York City-based psychologist and faculty member of Mount Sinai School of Medicine.

Be a teacher, not a staunch competitor. "It's just like how, until a certain age, you make decisions for your child. Then, as they start to be able to make decisions for themselves, you still tell them your decisions but you carefully explain to them your rationale so that they start to learn how to make decisions for themselves."

Up your game as the child improves. "When he can fight harder, you can play harder. You don't need to let them win every single time if they have equal abilities. You need to help a child learn the skills to fend for themselves. I think the more success a child can feel the better, but you do need to teach them the skills of competing so you should push against them as hard as they can push back."

Remind yourself why you're playing the game. If your child has become an equal rival at a game, it's one thing to play hard against him or her. But if you're clearly far stronger at a game, Schachter asks, "What's the point of winning when you're playing a child? If the adult is always winning, it just makes the kid feel like he can't win."

I can actually see both sides of this argument and the right answer really depends on each circumstance and each child. But there is one aspect of the debate that I have experienced, but have not seen discussed much. It’s the idea of compassion and empathy. I would let my son win for very simple reasons. I wanted him to feel good and to see him happy. And it made me feel good that I could give that to him, however sneaky and subtle. So we both ended up feeling good. I probably stole some learning opportunities from him that I will regret later but sometimes its hard to choose in favor of long-term learning when instant joy is right at your fingertips.

Now that my son is a teenager, I am starting to see him show that same compassion and empathy to others when it comes to games. Chutes and Ladders and Memory have given way to NASCAR video games and I sometimes watch and play. I really do not like playing video games at all but I do it anyway to stay connected to his teen world and share in the things that he enjoys. Just because I don’t like them, doesn’t mean I can’t support him. Something surprising happens when we play. He wants me to win. He wants me to enjoy myself.

He’ll drive his car backwards or go the wrong way on the track on purpose just so I can win. He’ll choose a faster car for me and a slower one for himself. If I get in a jam (bridges and hairpin turns tend to send my car off the nearest cliff), he’ll take my controller and guide me to an easier part of the track. When we play Guitar Hero, I get to play on “easy” and he plays on “expert” so I can win. He clearly isn’t playing to win. He’s playing to play. And not only is he playing for his own enjoyment, he’s taking an active role in making sure I enjoy myself, too.

That’s profound.

It tells me he’s playing from his heart, not his head. It tells me that somewhere inside, he gets the idea that giving so everyone can win is far more enjoyable than being the best. Or perhaps he’s reached a level of confidence in the game where he has nothing to prove, his ego is safe, and he can just let go and have fun. Whatever the reason, it makes me proud and absolves all the guilt I’ve ever felt about letting him win when he was younger.

Do you let your kids win at games? Why or why not? Join the discussion in my reader community here!

6 ways to help Google find your blog

2009-08-29T12:27:00.015-06:00

I attended the Front Range Blogger Meetup last week, hosted by our very own Dave Taylor. One of the traditions they have each month is to take someone's blog (they ask for volunteers), project that blog up on the screen, and the crowd provides constructive criticism. A great opportunity for bloggers who are open to feedback. I don't always make it each month but I was very glad I came to this one because Katharine Zaleski was there as part of a two-week visit to Colorado. She is a senior editor for The Huffington Post and a highly experienced and influencial blogger/editor. Katharine has worked for CNN and has appeared on MSNBC, Fox News, CBC, Air America, BBC Radio as well as other media outlets. You can see her latest interview with CNBC here (she arrived on the set seconds before introductions). She had some valuable advice on improving SEO (search engine optimization) for blogs and some of her suggestions are included in the list below, which stemmed from a conversation about how blog post titles and links benefit (or hurt) your search engine rankings:

Titles matter to Google. When you set up your blog, make sure your template puts the title of your post in the "title tags" on the back end of your blog.
Use keywords. Think of the keywords someone might be searching on and include those in your post title. For instance, if your post is about finding consumer deals to save money, consider including "surviving a recession" or "saving money" or "best coupon deals" in your title. Google likes that.
Pay attention to word order. The words you use at the beginning of your title are more important than the later ones. For instance "Free music at Oskar Blues on Saturdays" won't do as well as "Oskar Blues live music - free on Saturdays". Google also likes proper nouns at the beginning of a title.
Use the verbs people are more likely to search on. For instance "Michael Jackson dies" does not do as well as "Michael Jackson dead". Not a happy example but that is the example Katharine used so I'm passing it along.
Link to other posts you've written. When you write a post that references a place, person, event, or topic that you have written about before, be sure to include a hyperlink to that previous post.
Link to blogs that are bigger than yours. Google analyzes all the links (incoming and outgoing) in each post and loves "one-stop shopping". If you are writing a post about a new recipe, consider linking to bigger food blogs that cover that dish, link to places readers can buy the ingredients, restaurants that serve that kind of food, origins of the special spice it features, etc. You can get really creative with this. It will take some extra time to write the post, but it's worth it.

These are more "behind-the-scenes" tips and won't show results immediately but if you make a habit of doing this with your posts, your blog stands a much better chance to showing up higher in search results.

Top 12 email marketing mistakes

2009-08-29T11:47:00.012-06:00

As a marketer, I can't help but notice and critique emails, letters, and voice mails I get from people trying to introduce me to a product or service. Cold calling or buying lists and doing email marketing is sometimes a necessary evil when it comes to getting the word out about your product, especially if you are new. So I can definitely feel for their thankless plight. I've been there. But my tolerance runs short when they don't even take the time to pay attention to some basic rules that at least increase the chance that I will not immediately hit 'delete'.

Normally, when I get lousy email solicitations from people trying to promote a product or service, I delete before I get past the greeting. But I actually took five minutes and wrote this company back. Mainly because I wanted to help them. See, they were selling a very valuable product in my mind, SEO. Who doesn't want to improve their rankings in search engines? In this situation, someone actually was promoting something I am interested in but they blew it by violating some simple, basic rules. This is the actual email I sent back:

Hello xxxx,

Thank you for your email. I normally ignore solicitations like this but I just can't help but provide some (hopefully) helpful feedback. Search engine optimization is actually something I am interested in and need for my business. But your solicitation (the one chance you had to make a first impression) violates about a dozen basic rules of marketing:

You don't even address me by my name.
You address me as Dear Head of Business Development (which I'm not).
After that generic greeting, I’m blasted with a HUGE run-on paragraph that is so daunting, it does anything but make me want to read it (I still haven't read it).
There was no greeting - at least start with a friendly "Hi".
Your name or contact info is lost in the sea of run-on sentences at the bottom.
There is not one single link in your email that I can click on to get more info.
There is no indication that you took any time to find out about my company at all.
Your email was sent to our customer service address when my direct email is super easy to get on our site. When I am answering customer support requests, I am in "help" mode, not "evaluate new products" mode.
I see sequential numbers scattered in your run-on paragraph that appear to have info after them - ever heard of bullets?
You are in the SEO business and yet you spelled "optimization" wrong (and it wasn't just a European spelling - it was a typo)
In the first sentence, you reference the online advertising mistakes I am probably making. First, we don't do any online advertising right now. Second, instead of telling me how stupid I am, why not tell me how smart I'd be if I chose your service to help me improve how I reach my customers?
You don't even provide a website. At least not one that was easily placed in the beginning or end of the email. I did not read any of the mess in between.

Those are just the glaring ones I could think of and type out without losing any more than 8 minutes of my day. Do I need SEO? Badly. Will I use you to get it? Absolutely not. You lost me as a potential customer but perhaps this feedback will help you keep the next one.

Sincerely,

Holly

What happened to my career? (and other questions entrepreneurs ask themselves)

2009-08-27T14:57:00.000-06:00

I have been helping to launch start-ups for about 15 years and every now and then someone asks "how many start-ups have you worked for". I usually say "about 5 or 6, maybe 7" I lost count, really. So now I'm in one of those moods where I want to know the real answer. How exactly did I end up steeped in the start-up life when I spent many wonderful years on the east coast with a corporate commute and a pretty badge that told the elevator I was allowed to visit the 17th floor? Major change typically happens when you're faced with a major decision. One choice is usually "safe", with a predictable outcome. The other is full of unknowns and way more likely to get you in trouble. I figure making that choice 10 or 12 times is bound to move you around a bit. Or not.

Do I stay in DC and fight with the FCC over telecommunication depreciation rates or do I pack up my truck and move to Boulder, CO where I have no job and do not know a single person? (I moved).

Do I date the MBA student or the bush pilot from Alaska? (many fond memories helping deliver beer and whipped cream to Eskimos)

Should I stay and rock climb with the band of firefighters at the campsite next to mine or leave early and make it to Kansas before Tuesday? (I climbed)

Do I drive up the coast of California in search of my dharma or make turkey burgers for dinner? (turns out they have turkey burgers in CA)

Should I have a baby or get a puppy? (a puppy can't play Risk or mow the lawn)

Do I throw the yearly bonus into my 401K or take my son to Burma and meditate in caves with Japanese monks? (we met monks)

Do I eat the quarter-sized ball of wasabi or lose the dare and the $2? (OK that wasn't me, that was my son, but he SO got that stupidity from me)

Should I stay with the company with the stable paycheck or jump ship and create something new? (I jumped)

Repeat last question (and answer) 5-6 times.

OK, I'm beginning to see the pattern. When faced with the decision to stay where life is seemingly predictable or jump into the abyss of the unknown, I tend to always take the riskier choice. One of my favorite quotes has always been "fate favors the bold", although I don't know who said it. Another favorite is from Wayne Gretzky, who is famous for saying "100% of the shots you don't take, don't go in". SO. TRUE. How will we ever know what we could have been if we don't ever try? What if the odds were so drastically skewed towards those who simply tried something new? Would it inspire you to try?

Another pattern in my career is choosing creating over maintaining. The early, creative stage of a start-up is way more fun for me. I like getting in when there are few people and no real brand name or market presence and then building it all from scratch. I've written about this stage before and it is as true for me today as it was 15 years ago, when I worked for my first start-up.

So that is what happened to my career. It feels weird even calling it a career. Its more like an addiction. A bizarre love affair with risk and possibility that continually draws me deeper into the world of start-ups. So that's how I got here - glad that mystery is solved :)

Playing detective (and having fun with video)

2009-08-25T12:48:00.011-06:00

We recently posed a challenge to our Blog Frog Community Leaders to explore, play, and learn to love including video on their blogs. Video is quickly becoming one of the most desirable ways for blog readers to engage with content. Its more fun, its a richer experience, and there is so much that can be communicated on video that simply can't be conveyed in writing. And check this out - 78.5% of the total U.S. Internet audience viewed online video last year. In December alone, nearly 100 million YouTube video viewers (98.9 MM) watched 5.9 billion videos, for an average of 59 videos apiece. People are eating up video.

So I decided to play along. I had a mystery to solve this weekend. Raccoons were somehow getting up on the roof of a small rental house I own and I had to figure out 1) how they were getting up there, and 2) how to prevent it from happening.

The best part was I had a legitimate excuse to climb up on the roof and wander around! While I was up there, I took a video or two of what I discovered.

Holly on the roof from Holly Hamann on Vimeo.

Mystery solved!

A day for celebrating!

2009-08-20T10:01:00.006-06:00

I have posted about start-up life before and I do swear its addicting. The instability, insane hours, insane people, managing others (and my own) unreasonable drive to win. It can drive a person crazy. Or maybe you have to be crazy to being with.

But every once in a while, you have one of those days that makes it all worth while. When something you worked hard for comes to fruition and everyone gets to win.

Today was one of those days. Rusty and I have been quietly collaborating with 5 Minutes For Mom, a very successful (Technorati Top 100 blog kind of success) website for moms, to help them build and launch an interactive community for their readers. Since March of 2006, Janice and Susan, the founders of 5 Minutes For Mom, have been working hard to provide a place where women can share their stories, interact, and learn from other moms in a caring, supportive online community.

Together we launched their new reader community today and I encourage you to go check it out! The idea was to create a place that not only allows readers to interact and discuss what is on their minds, but allows them to share their own blog content as well. The community launched a few hours ago and it already has over 40 conversations going on with 400+ replies. Here are some of the features you'll find there:

Instantly connect and interact with other 5MinutesForMom readers.
Start discussions that expose your blogs to thousands of new readers daily.
Subscribe to a discussion so you never miss someone’s reply to you.
Every time you reply to a discussion, your picture and blog URL shows up on the 5MinutesForMom homepage.
Your picture and blog accompanies every reply you add in the community.
Every time you publish a new post on your blog, it automatically shows up in the 5MinutesForMom community!
When you visit the 5MinutesForMom community, your tweets automatically show up for all visitors to see.
The more active you are in the community, the more visibility your own blog gets!

There is still lots of work to be done, but its fun to know we helped create a community that supports thousands of moms every day. Go see for yourself!

Mom, can I have a Facebook?

2009-08-03T16:41:00.008-06:00

The debate about whether or not to let our kids have Facebook accounts has been going on for about a year now. We have three boys, ages 13, 13 and 12 (no twins - blended family). I guess its really not a debate because the conversations with my son go something like this:

Son: "Can I have a Facebook?" (side note - when did it become "having a Facebook" instead of "having a Facebook page"?)
Me: "No"
Son: "Why?
Me: "Because you're not old enough"
Son: "But all my friends have a Facebook?"
Me: "What did I say?"

(this repeats until heavy eye rolling takes over and teen retreats).

To me, my criteria for letting them have an account is crystal clear. Until they are smarter and more tech-savvy than the creeps who prey on children online, they do not get a social network account. Until their instincts are governed by safety, reason, and restraint and not "hey, that person looks friendly", they don't get near MySpace.

And its not because our kids aren't smart enough or don't have good intentions. They have great intentions. The problem is that they trust that everyone else has good intentions, too, and that is where the problem lies. They are trusting and playful. They think deeply about life one minute and are trying to see how many marshmallows they can fit in their mouths the next. They are gullible and snarky at the same time. Behind the back-talking, hormonal man-boy is an insecure teen trying to figure out his identity. And that's exactly where he's supposed to be.

Which is another reason why it is not the right time to get involved in social networks. Navigating the awkward, often uncomfortable, self-defining maze called adolescence should take place in a safe, supportive, forgiving environment. Where guidance is provided by trusted adults who care deeply about how their answers affect young minds. Young teens push boundaries, make mistakes, try stuff, and practice making decisions. I'd rather my kids work through those issues in real life and not online.

And don't get me wrong. I'm in the social media industry. I LOVE the internet! I'm a Twitter-a-holic and I go to blogging conferences. Does that make me a hypocrite? Maybe, but I don't think so. I just have a healthy dose of caution when it comes to my kids.

What are your views on kids, teens, and social media? Come join the conversation over here in my BlogFrog forum!

Not in my house

2009-07-20T11:36:00.016-06:00

I did NOT let my kids and their friends play with guns and night vision goggles. That would be trivializing the horror and sacrifice of war, which is something I would never do. Not in my house.

I did NOT let the kids drink pop-disguised-as-fruit-juice or let them wear their hats at the table. I also did not make them laugh so hard that pop-disguised-as-fruit-juice came out of their noses. No respectful adult with any awareness of table etiquette would let kids do that while dining. Certainly not me.
I did NOT let the kids play on the computer or sit way too close to the screen. That is bad for their eyes, their brains, and shows a total lack of regard for their health and mental development. I could never do that.

I did NOT take the kids anywhere that could remotely be considered dangerous or put them in harm's way. I love them too much to ever put their well-being at risk.

I did NOT let them misuse equipment or abuse each other. We followed the rules at all times because that is what good parents do to properly teach their children to adopt the herd mentality that is required to succeed in the world. So we treated each other with respect and kindness at all times.

I did NOT let a total stranger touch my kid or his friends. I did not let some shifty batting cage own named Sal give the kids free batting tokens, free time in the pitching cage, or a hug. Only a person who has no clue how dangerous the world is would let that happen. Not on my watch.

It was a very boring weekend because we did none of these things. I kinda hope we can do none of these things again next weekend.

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Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Companies hold meetings. Why shouldn't familes??

2009-07-08T22:09:00.014-06:00

If you work for a company or organization that has various departments, different levels of management or for that matter has more than 1 employee, chances are you have company meetings. The purpose of meeting is to check in with everyone that plays a role in the healthy functioning of that company. Checking in gives everyone the opportunity to voice what’s going on in their worlds, ask for support, be heard, speak up about things that aren’t working, and recognize achievement and effort. It gets everyone on the same page and puts conflicts on the table where they can be discussed and resolved. If it works for companies, why not families? Why do we assume that a healthy, functional family “just happens”?

My household is a blended family. I am mom to my 13yo son, step-mom to two other wonderful boys (also young teenagers), and partner to their dad. We started having family meetings a few months ago to help bring some stability and support to the challenges everyone seemed to be facing after being thrown into one household together. It was easy when we were dating and we would spend a day together and then retreat back to our respective household routines. Four years later, we merged households and started the slow process of becoming a real family. But it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Our boys are about the same age but had different bedtimes, homework schedules, rules for TV/computer, and expectations around chores. We were all adjusting to having many more personalities in the house and conflict seemed to come easy. It saddened me that subtle, unresolved conflicts were creating an undercurrent of disconnect that undermined the family sanctuary I had intended to create. So we got some advice from an exceptional counselor* and started holding family meetings.

We hold them every other week and try to keep them sacred. The first couple meetings were more about setting the stage for what they would be like. We were advised to keep them brief, stay on topic, and be fair so everyone feels safe to share. We set some ground rules. No interrupting, no criticism, and everyone participates. Everyone gets a chance to say what’s on their minds, what’s working or not working, what they would like and how they see it (doesn't mean they get what they want, but they do get respect and attention). At the end, we go around the room again and each person has to say what they appreciate about the person to their left and to their right. This leaves us all feeling loved, connected, and valued. It dawned on me later that what we were learning was Listening 101. I have been astounded at how powerful these meetings have been in helping us connect and how articulate and insightful our teens can be when given the chance to be heard. I highly recommend them for any family.

I could write so much more about different topics and examples of discussions we’ve had that have shifted the family dynamic to one of support and unity. But maybe I’ll save that for another post. In the meantime, I thought I’d list some great sites and articles I found that talk about family meetings:

You can comment here or visit my forum and join the family meeting discussion over there!

* If you are in the Boulder/Denver area and would like more info on the counselor I mentioned, please email me at holly (at) theblogfrog (dot) com. I would be happy to introduce you.

The price of "too busy"

2009-07-01T19:32:00.015-06:00

I consider myself a fairly organized person. Not necessarily by choice but more because if I wasn’t, all those balls I juggle and plates I spin above my head would come crashing down on me and there would truly be hell to pay. Sure, there are tasks that if done one day late, will not cause the earth to crack open and swallow anyone up. If the grass is longer than my neighbor's or we run out of eggs and eat popsicles for breakfast, the consequences are fairly small. But I can always tell when I’ve let myself get too busy or my priorities are out of whack when bigger items that got neglected in the name of work, kids, or social agendas come back to bite me. This is one example.

My auto registration and tags expired in January. Yes, I got the colorful little reminder card and promptly put it in the handle-before-my-next-haircut-but-not-before-I-pay-the-mortgage pile. The fact that I am way overdue for a haircut is where the efficiency algorithm first went wrong.

First I lose the reminder.

Then I forget that I lost the reminder.

Because I don’t have the reminder.

So a couple months goes by. Then I get pulled over and get a ticket for having expired tags. I promise myself I will take care of the ticket and the tags the very next day. Then I somehow lose the ticket, appalled at myself for having lost two notices. Now see, tickets aren’t just issued by one bannered, city-hall like “Ticket Building”. Depending on where you were and what the offense was, it could be the Sheriff’s Dept, the State Police, or the County law enforcement. I didn’t know which one it was because I don’t have….yea you get it.

So I call every department, including the DMV, Justice Center, County Sheriff, about 5 locations in all. No one has a record of the ticket. So now I KNOW I have a ticket to pay, I don’t know how much its for, when its due, or who to pay. I’m a responsible and accountable person. On a good day. One thing I do know is that the issue won’t go away just because someone in front of a government monitor doesn’t have it on their screen. So for the past several months, I’ve called each of those departments each week to see if the ticket has shown up in the system. So far, no record at all.

Meanwhile, I still have to take care of the original issue, my expired tags. Lucky me, this is also the year my emissions are due so I have to pass that test before I can get my registration updated. So I go get my emissions inspection. Then I happily drive to the Driver’s License place so delirious in my happy-tag euphoria, that I fail to pay the parking meter.

But I DO get my shiny new registration stickers. All is well in the world, right? WRONG. While putting the tags on my license plate, my iphone falls out of my purse and the glass screen splinters on the pavement. So here’s the full scope of my lesson:

Citation for expired tags - $60 (this is a guess, ‘cause ya know, I don’t have the ticket)
Emissions inspection - $25
Registration renewal - $143
Late fee for renewal - $10
Parking Ticket - $15
New iphone* - $200
Grand total - $435

I am not proud of this at all. It’s actually quite embarrassing. But I put it out there for everyone to see because it’s a very real side-effect of claiming to be “too busy”. Being too busy is a crock. It’s a total racket we run with ourselves and others so we have a scapegoat for being in denial. We have the time. The universe has a funny way of tapping us on the shoulder when it wants us to pay attention to something. But we usually don’t listen. Then it knocks a little louder, comes in through the side door, leaves a sticky note, and then finally has to set the house on fire to make itself heard.

Pay attention. Pay the bill. Make the phone call. Make the doctor’s apt. Write the letter. Have the talk with your kids, your husband, your boss, or your dad.

Do that thing that you know you should have done yesterday. Because the price you pay to resolve it now is far less than you will pay if you wait.

*I haven't bought the new iphone yet because I'm too busy

You can comment here or visit my forum and participate in the "too busy" discussion over there!

What's your special mom superpower?

2009-06-24T07:53:00.011-06:00

Every mom has that one amazing gift that makes them unique and special. Actually, we have many (!) but there are usually a few that are almost superhuman-like. Are you insanely patient? A serious multi-tasker? Can you whip up a gourmet meal in minutes? Are you good at calming kids when they are scared?

Mine is being creative and getting into that playful space. I once dressed up in a chicken suit to greet guests at a kid's party. One time, while waiting for my 11 year old to get stitches in the ER, I made a doll out of tongue depressors, gauze, and cotton balls and acted out scenes. I throw an ornament party every holiday and teach kids how to make people out of clothespins. Where that talent came from I'll never know. Recognize the people above? If you guessed Michael Phelps, Barack Obama and Harry Potter - you have a good eye for what celebrities might look like if they were made out of wood, beads and felt. I am also a workhorse. Being a single-parent for 10 years will do that to you. I couldn't get thru level one on Mario Bros if my life depended on it and I'm at a loss for how to make a birthday cake from scratch, but I've given up on trying to be perfect at everything when it comes to parenting. I've learned to be proud of the few things I do well and just try my best at the rest.

What is your super power? You know you have one. Only you can recognize when something so hard for the rest of us comes gracefully easy to you. What is that one thing?

I'm trying to introduce readers to my community forum and motivate discussions there so readers of this blog can get to know each other. Please reply to this post in the discussion forum (regular comments are welcome, too!). Just click "visit the breadcrumz community" at the bottom of the pink BlogFrog widget (on the left) and reply there!

Also, did you know you can have links to your blog posts automatically show up on my blog so people can click over and read them? Just click the "become a member" link on the community widget (same widget on upper left), enter your blog URL, and you're done! When you publish a new post on your blog, a link to it will show up. This means more visitors for you!